Tough match against Oz

Germany opened up the Confederations Cup tournament with a 4-3 win against a surprisingly tough Australian squad. Or perhaps it was just that Klinsmann's team is crap. In any case, goals from Kuranyi, Mertesacker, Ballack and Podolski were needed to win the match, as the normally stout defense looked like Swiss cheese against the rampaging Socceroos. (OK, I know they're not called that anymore, so get a life!). Nobody in the DFB squad really impressed, Kahn was lame, letting Skoko's free kick go right underneath, Robert Huth was crap, as was Kuranyi, despite his goal. Probably the highlight was Podolski's rocket shot after a nice buildup to seal the match. Next up is Tunesia on Saturday.

In the other group match, Argentina easily handled Tunesia 2-1. In the 2nd group, Brazil kicked Greece ass 3-0, which goes to show that catenaccio only gets you so far.

"Ich habe fertig...nicht!"

Everybody's favorite Italian interview returns to the Bundesliga! Ex-Bayern leader Giovanni Trappatoni has taken over the manager spot at VfB Stuttgart. The jovial Italian will undoubtedly not be able to fix the sinking ship that all the rats are abandoning, but his interviews are guaranteed to generate good press converage. This is probably a good pick, since Stuttgart had to do something to stay in the headlines, since it probably won't be something like "...VfB continues to lead the table..."

Kuranyi to Schalke

National squad forward Kevin Kuranyi has dumped Stuttgart and transferred for some 6 million euros to Schalke. The German-Panamanian striker is notoriously inconsistent, like every other German forward these days, but when he's hot, he's hot. (And when he's not, er habe fertig...). Meanwhile, Schalke continue to insist that Ailton is not for sale, so it could be an interesting combo up front next year, "fatboy and slim". This is probably a good move for Schalke, as they can now move Asamoah permanently into some type of wing or attacking midfield role, since as a striker, well, he couldn't hit the side of a barn.

Show me the money!

There was an interesting report on the state of football in a recent edition of the Frankfurter-Allgemeine-Zeitung. Overall, the turnover of the soccer leagues in Europe was estimated at some 11.0 billion euros, of which over half (5.8) was in the Big-5, England, Spain, Italy, France and Germany. The Premier League led the way, with almost 2.0 billion, and the Serie A (1.15) edged out the Bundesliga (1.06) for runner up.

The Bundesliga did lead the spectator race, with over 37,000 per match, followed by the Premier League (33,900) and the Spanish Primera (27,800). Higher income in england was due to more favorable TV and marketing income.

The wage structure in the Bundesliga was also the stingiest. Only 47% of income was spent on wages, compared with 61% in England and 64% in Spain. Italy's Serie Ha-Ha wasted some 73% on wages, a poor return for the most boring league :)

Last gasp draw

The DFB national squad played Wednesday night in Mönchengladbach's new Borussia-Stadion against a strong Russian squad. Despite 2 goals by Bastian Schweinsteiger, Germany had to settle for a draw when Russia scored the equalizer in injury time. Overall, a pretty decent performance, and Jürgen Klinsmann's squad was unlucky not to come away with a win.

Mainz in UEFA Cup!

FSV Mainz was chosen for the qualifying round of next season's UEFA Cup. The first season Bundesligist was chosen as Germany's representative of the "fair play" qualification, which is based on a variety of factors, but mostly fewest yellow and red cards.

New boss of VfL Volkswagen

It didn't take long after firing Eric Gerets ass for Wlfsburg to pick a new manager: Holger Fach, who had been canned earlier by Borussia Moenchengladbach. This caps off some recent moves, which saw the VWs sign Schalke's forward Mike Hanke (4 million euros), and dump Thomas Brdaric, coupled with the retirement of Roy Präger. Also signed were two defenders, Bielefeld's Thomas Langkamp (1.3 million euros) and Belgian Peter Van der Heyden from Brugge.

What's up with Kuranyi?

Rumours are flying all over the place over the future of German international center forward Kevin Kuranyi. It seems like he will abandon Stuttgart, but no clear indication has been given yet. Schalke is talked about as the main suitor, since they are apparently trying to flog Ailton, they lost Mike Hanke, and Ebbe Sand seems only could for "Friday the 13th" sequels.

Easy win for Klinsmann squad

Once again playing in the goofy red jersey, Jürgen KLinsmann's national squad thumped a lame Northern Ireland 4-1. The match was played in Belfast. The Irish opened the scoring on a handball penalty (Robert Huth was in fact red-carded!) after only 15 minutes, but Germany came back with goals by Asamoah, Ballack(2) and Podolski in front of a sold-out crowd of 15,000. Overall, not a bad performance - even though it was a weak opponent - onsidering they were a man down for almost the whole match.

This follows a 4-2 loss against Bayern München last week for the opening of the new München Allianz stadium. Since a few of the national squad players (e.g. Ballack, Frings, Schweinsteiger, Kahn etc.) played for their club, the "B" squad of the DFB suffered a deserved loss. their club

Sammer raus!

In a surpise move, the board of VfB Stuttgart decided to dump manager Matthias Sammer, who had only joined last summer. Stuttgart was in contention for the Champions League, but collapsed down the stretch and had to settle for the UEFA Cup. Sammer seemed to have lost the support of the players, so the board felt they had no choice.

Zweite Liga promotion set

The 3rd division Regionalliga finished up and the promoted (and relegated) sides were determined.

In the North, Eintracht Braunschweig and SC Paderborn will be going up, and VfB Lübeck is left out in the cold. Braunschweig ended up winning the title, but had to struggle in a 3-2 home win against Arminia Bielefeld so-called Amateurs. Paderborn drubbed Volkswagen so-called Amateurs 4-0 away, so Lübeck's 1-0 away win at Chemnitz was not enough. Relegated sides include the so-called amateur squads of Dortmund, Bielefeld and Wolfsburg, Union Berlin and the forcibly relegated Uerdingen.

In the South, Kickers Offenbach won the tight race, but FC Augusburg choked at home 1-2 to Jahn Regensburg, which enabled SpFr Siegen to leapfrog them by a point. Going down are Mainz so-called Amateurs and FC Nöttingen, along with SC Feucht, who decided to voluntarily go down.

Among teams moving up to the 3rd division next year are:
(North): Kickers Emden, Carl Zeiss Jena, Wattenscheid 09, Bayer Apsirins Jr.
(South): Kaiserslautern so-called Amateurs, Karlsruhe so-called amateurs, 1.FC Eschborn, SpVgg Bayreuth.

Bayern do the double

Not much of a surprise, but Bayern München defeated Schalke 2-1 in the hotly contested DFB-Cup final in Berlin, in front of 75,000. Not surprising because everybody knows that Schalke chokes when something is on the line. I think it was Bayern General Manager who said (a few years back) "We'll win because everybody else is too dumb."

No decisions until final day

The promotion battles for the 2.Liga are still hotly contested, as none of the Regionalliga winners will be decided until the last match next weekend.

In the North, Braunschweig had a massive 3-1 win at Paderborn, which may see them into the 2.Liga. Both now have 67 points, Lübeck 66 and even Osnabrück is alive with 64. Lübeck faces the hardest task, as they must travel to Chemnitz, who need the points to avoid relegation, whereas the co-leaders face already relegated sides. At the bottom, hopefully either Werder or Dortmund "amateurs" will join other worthless "amateur" teams going down.

In the South, Offenbach has 64 points. Siegen missed a huge opportunity to gain some advantage, and could only draw 1-1 at home to Mainz Amateurs. Meanwhile, Augsburg leapfrogged them with a 6-0 away thrashing at already relegated Nöttingen. Both have 61, but Siegen face a tough away game against a strong Darmstadt, while Augsburg hosts mid-table Regensburg. A point suffices for Offenbach - away to almost relegated Mainz Amateurs - to win the league.

The 4th division Oberliga winners are largely determined, although a couple of divisions finish the coming weekend. Going up are Kickers Emden, Bayer Junior Aspirins, FC Eschborn, Kaiserslautern so-called Amateurs (champion Borussia Neunkirchen declined promotion), Karlsruher SC so-called amateurs and SpVgg Bayreuth. A couple of races come down to the last day. In a promotion playoff, Carl Zeiss Jena won 2-0 away to MSV Neuruppin, and are practically assured to join the Regionalliga next season.

Kentucky Fried Uerdingen

The rumoured collapse of KFC Uerdingen has finally happened. Apparently they lied to the DFB when applying for their Regionalliga license, and didn't meet some of demands the financial review commitee made on them last year. So as a result, they will be forcibly relegated out of the Regionalliga Nord. The Krefeld club has once again applied for insolvency administration, which is likely to happen soon. In 2002, they had applied, but withdrawn at the last minute as new funds became available. Since that is unlikely this time, the best hope is that the club will survive intact in the Oberliga Nordrhein and not be wound up.

In not related news, Regionalliga South club 1.SC Feucht has voluntarily decided to be relegated.

2. Liga Round 34 - Final Round - Wrapup

Bundesliga Round 34 - Final Round - Wrapup

As things turned out, there was some drama in the final day, as the Champions League spots were up for grabs. And the surprise winner was dethroned champion Werder Bremen. While Schalke struggled against a crap Freiburg, finally managing to win and clinch 2nd, both Suttgart and Berlin laid big turds in their matches. The result? Bremen leapfrogged them with their away win at Kaiserslautern. Stuttgart basically laid down and took it up the rear, embarassing themselves in front of their home fans against Bayern, whereas Hertha was lame and couldn't score against lowly Hannover. So Hertha and Stuttgart have to content themselves with the UEFA Cup, which should cost them a few million euros. The only team to make a statement was Bayer Aspirin, which thumped crap Gladbach, and defended their UEFA spot against the revived Borussia Neons, who came from behind to defeat Rostock.

 
 
1. FC Nürnberg      -  FSV Mainz 05     1:2 (1:1) 
VfB Stuttgart       -  Bayern München   1:3 (0:2) 
Hamburger SV        -  VfL Bochum       0:1 (0:0)
Hertha BSC Berlin   -  Hannover 96      0:0 (0:0) 
Bayer Leverkusen    -  Bor. M'gladbach  5:1 (1:1) 
Arminia Bielefeld   -  VfL Wolfsburg    1:2 (1:1) 
Bor. Dortmund 	    -  Hansa Rostock    2:1 (0:1) 
SC Freiburg 	    -  FC Schalke 04    2:3 (1:1) 
1. FC Kaisersl.     -  Werder Bremen    1:2 (1:2) 


 1 Bayern München 	34  24  5  5  75:33 +42  77 
 2 FC Schalke 04 	34  20  3 11  56:46 +10  63 
 3 Werder Bremen 	34  18  5 11  68:37 +31  59
--------------------------------------------------- 
 4 Hertha BSC Berlin	34  15 13  6  59:31 +28  58 
 5 VfB Stuttgart 	34  17  7 10  54:40 +14  58 
 6 Bayer Leverkusen 	34  16  9  9  65:44 +21  57
--------------------------------------------------- 
 7 Bor. Dortmund 	34  15 10  9  47:44 +3   55 
 8 Hamburger SV 	34  16  3 15  55:50 +5   51 
 9 VfL Wolfsburg 	34  15  3 16  49:51 -2   48 
10 Hannover 96 		34  13  6 15  34:36 -2   45 
11 FSV Mainz 05 	34  12  7 15  50:55 -5   43 
12 1. FC Kaiserslautern 34  12  6 16  43:52 -9   42 
13 Arminia Bielefeld 	34  11  7 16  37:49 -12  40 
14 1. FC Nürnberg 	34  10  8 16  55:63 -8   38 
15 Bor. M'gladbach 	34   8 12 14  35:51 -16  36
--------------------------------------------------- 
16 VfL Bochum 		34   9  8 17  47:68 -21  35 
17 Hansa Rostock 	34   7  9 18  31:65 -34  30 
18 SC Freiburg 		34   3  9 22  30:75 -45  18 

 

Bundesliga Round 33 Wrapup

A ho-hum day, which leaves the final Euro spots unanswered until the last week. As Gladbach got a point, Bochum and Rostock are now mathematically relegated. Schalke lost for the first time in 12 tries in the Revier-derby against Dortmund, which can thank a brilliant performance by keeper Weidenfeller for getting all the points. This gives the Neons a slight chance of making the UEFA Cup, which would be a remarkable feat given the total chaos at the club in December. Berlin and even Bremen still have chances to make the Champions League. Schalke seemingly has the easiest assignment, away to Freiburg. Stuttgart has to host Bayern, but a draw probably won't be enough, as Hertha hosts Hannover.

A significant result was Mainz win over Kaiserslautern. Who would have thought that they could ever challenge the red devils for southwest supremacy? The only thing significant in Bayern's championship celebration was that this was the final match in the Olympiastadion. Next year Bayern moves to a new soccer-only facility, the Münchener Allianz-Versicherung Stadion.

FSV Mainz 05 	 -  1. FC Kaisersl. 	3:2 (1:1)
Werder Bremen 	 -  SC Freiburg 	4:1 (0:1) 	
FC Schalke 04 	 -  Bor. Dortmund 	1:2 (1:2) 	
Hansa Rostock 	 -  Arminia Bielefeld 	1:1 (1:1)
VfL Wolfsburg 	 -  Bayer Leverkusen 	2:2 (2:0)
Bor. M'gladbach  -  Hertha BSC Berlin	0:0 (0:0)
Hannover 96 	 -  Hamburger SV 	2:1 (1:1) 	
VfL Bochum 	 -  VfB Stuttgart 	2:0 (0:0) 	
Bayern Muenchen  -  1. FC Nuernberg     6:3 (5:0)

 1 Bayern Muenchen 	33  23 	 5   5   72:32 	+40 	74
 2 FC Schalke 04 	33  19 	 3  11 	 53:44 	+9 	60
 3 VfB Stuttgart 	33  17 	 7   9 	 53:37 	+16 	58
----------------------------------------------------------
 4 Hertha BSC Berlin	33  15 	12   6 	 59:31 	+28 	57
 5 Werder Bremen 	33  17 	 5  11 	 66:36 	+30 	56
 6 Bayer Leverkusen 	33  15 	 9   9 	 60:43 	+17 	54
----------------------------------------------------------
 7 Bor. Dortmund 	33  14 	10   9 	 45:43 	+2 	52
 8 Hamburger SV 	33  16 	 3  14 	 55:49 	+6 	51
 9 VfL Wolfsburg 	33  14 	 3  16 	 47:50 	-3 	45
10 Hannover 96 		33  13 	 5  15 	 34:36 	-2 	44
11 1. FC Kaiserslautern 33  12 	 6  15 	 42:50 	-8 	42
12 FSV Mainz 05 	33  11 	 7  15 	 48:54 	-6 	40
13 Arminia Bielefeld 	33  11 	 7  15 	 36:47 	-11 	40
14 1. FC Nuernberg 	33  10 	 8  15 	 54:61 	-7 	38
15 Bor. M'gladbach 	33   8 	12  13 	 34:46 	-12 	36
----------------------------------------------------------
16 VfL Bochum 		33   8 	 8  17 	 46:68 	-22 	32
17 Hansa Rostock 	33   7 	 9  17 	 30:63 	-33 	30
18 SC Freiburg 		33   3 	 9  21 	 28:72 	-44 	18

2.Liga warpup

The penultimate round saw some decisive results. Frankfurt's win at Cottbus and 1860's Bavarian derby win at Fuerth means that the final week will decide the last promotion spot. Although Frankfurt seemingly have a tougher task, as they face a strong Burghausen squad, actually 1860 may have a harder time. Their opponents, LR Ahlen, desperately need a win to stay up. That should mean a bloody clash in München.

The relegation battles were almost finished this week. As mentioned before, it's a bad year to be red and white, as all three "Rot-Weiss" clubs get renamed to "Tot-Scheiss". And since Ahlen's colors are also red and white, they could be in trouble. However, an Ahlen win sees them staying up, as Saarbruecken hosts Trier - the loser could go down. Cottbus could also get caught if they lose. (and they also play in red and white).

Wacker Burghausen   - 	Alemannia Aachen      2:3 (0:1) 	
Greuther Fuerth     - 	186 Muenchen          2:3 (1:1) 	
LR Ahlen 	    - 	RotWeiss Essen 	      3:1 (0:1) 	
SpVgg Unterhaching  - 	RotWeiss Oberhausen   0:2 (0:2)
Erzgebirge Aue 	    - 	1. FC Saarbruecken    2:0 (0:0) 	
Eintracht Trier     - 	Dynamo Dresden 	      2:4 (0:1) 	
RotWeiss Erfurt     - 	1. FC Koeln	      0:1 (0:0) 	
MSV Duisburg 	    - 	Karlsruher SC 	      1:4 (0:2) 	
Energie Cottbus     - 	Eintracht Frankfurt   0:3 (0:1) 	

 1 1. FC Koeln		33  19 	 7   7 	 58:33 	+25 	64
 2 MSV Duisburg 	33  19 	 5   9 	 50:33 	+17 	62
 3 Eintracht Frankfurt 	33  18 	 4  11 	 62:39 	+23 	58
----------------------------------------------------------
 4 1860 Muenchen	33  15 	12   6 	 49:35 	+14 	57
 5 Alemannia Aachen 	33  16 	 6  11 	 60:39 	+21 	54
 6 Greuther Fuerth	33  16 	 5  12 	 50:42 	+8 	53
 7 Erzgebirge Aue 	33  15 	 5  13 	 48:39 	+9 	50
 8 SVW Burghausen 	33  13 	 9  11 	 48:52 	-4 	48
 9 Dynamo Dresden 	33  14 	 4  15 	 46:52 	-6 	46
10 SpVgg Unterhaching 	33  13 	 3  17 	 39:43 	-4 	42
11 Karlsruher SC 	33  10 	10  13 	 43:45 	-2 	40
12 1. FC Saarbruecken   33  11 	 6  16 	 43:49 	-6 	39
13 Energie Cottbus 	33  10 	 9  14 	 33:45 	-12 	39
14 Eintracht Trier 	33   9 	11  13 	 38:52 	-14 	38
----------------------------------------------------------
15 LR Ahlen 	        33   9 	 9  15 	 39:46 	-7 	36
16 RotWeiss Essen 	33   6 	15  12 	 35:50 	-15 	33
17 RotWeiss Oberhausen 	33   8 	 9  16 	 39:61 	-22 	33
18 RotWeiss Erfurt 	33   7 	 9  17   33:58 	-25 	30

Bundesliga expansion?

There has been a fair amount of speculation over whether the Bundesliga should expand to 20 teams, which would put the Germany in line with other top leagues, such as England, France, Italy and Spain. Influential Bayern president Franz Beckenbauer has openly advocated the increase, and most other clubs would probably favor it as well, as the additional income would come in handy. Since the European fixtures are likely to be reduced due to the change in the Champions League structure, it probably won't lead to fixture congestion. The Bundesliga did play with 20 clubs in 1991-92, as former GDR clubs were brought in after reunification.

Also under discussion is increasing the 2.Liga to 20 clubs, and perhaps a similar promotion system as in England, with two automatic promotions and a playoff for the final spot.

Stop. Do not past Go. Go to Jail

Such was the "Monopoly" card that was handed out to Karl-Heinz Wildmoser Jr., the son of legendary ex-1860 boss Karl-Heinz Wildmoser Sr. Both had been booted out due to some bribery scandal relating to the construction of the new München Allianz stadium, and apparently Junior is getting his ass tossed in the slammer for 4 years. However, it looks like he won't actually have to spend the fulltime behind bars, as the court looks to give him probation. He had been sitting in jail for about a year already to "avoid flight".

Zebras go up

MSV Duisburg is the 2nd team after 1.FC Köln to clinch promotion to the Bundesliga. The Zebras won the top 2.Liga match on Monday night 1-0 at Eintracht Frankfurt to take over 1st place. This marks a return to the top flight after some 4 seasons in the wilderness. For Frankfurt, they missed a chance to put one foot in the Bundesliga, and remain in a dogfight for the last remaining promotion spot.

Bundesliga Round 32 Wrapup

It's now all over but the crying. As expected, both Bochum and Rostock are going down. Their lame performances, coupled with Gladbach's point in Hamburg mean that any hope of staying up is now a mere worthless theoretical excercise. Rostock was lame getting rolled by the Aspirins; Bochum was equally uninspired, although it was Marek Mintal's league leading 23rd goal with 7 minutes left that was the final coup de grace. Undoubtedly Bochum will be back up within a couple of seasons, although it is harder to speculate about Rostock. This means for the first time since reunification, the ex-GDR has no representative in the top flight. (Remember that Hertha is a West-Berlin club.)

Since the title and relegation is now finished, the remaining excitement deals with the jockeying of position for European spots, and there is still a lot to play for. Schalke finally got their act together and had a good win, but both Stuttgart and Hertha kept pace. Bremen has now blown the Champions League and have a battle to hold on to the UEFA spot.

SC Freiburg         -  1. FC Kaisersl. 	1:2 (0:2) 
FSV Mainz 05        -  Bayern München 	2:4 (1:2) 
1. FC Nürnberg      -  VfL Bochum 	2:1 (1:0) 
VfB Stuttgart       -  Hannover 96 	1:0 (0:0) 
Hertha BSC Berlin   -  VfL Wolfsburg 	3:1 (0:1) 
Bayer Leverkusen    -  Hansa Rostock 	3:0 (1:0) 
Arminia Bielefeld   -  FC Schalke 04 	0:2 (0:1) 
Hamburger SV 	    -  Bor. M'gladbach 	0:0 (0:0) 
Borussia Dortmund   -  Werder Bremen 	1:0 (1:0) 

 1 Bayern München 	32 22  5  5  66:29 +37  71 
 2 FC Schalke 04 	32 19  3 10  52:42 +10  60
 3 VfB Stuttgart 	32 17  7  8  53:35 +18  58 
--------------------------------------------------
 4 Hertha BSC Berlin	32 15 11  6  59:31 +28  56 
 5 Werder Bremen 	32 16  5 11  62:35 +27  53
-------------------------------------------------- 
 6 Bayer Leverkusen 	32 15  8  9  58:41 +17  53 
 7 Hamburger SV 	32 16  3 13  54:47 +7   51 
 8 Borussia Dortmund 	32 13 10  9  43:42 +1   49 
 9 VfL Wolfsburg 	32 14  2 16  45:48 -3   44 
10 1. FC Kaiserslautern 32 12  6 14  40:47 -7   42 
11 Hannover 96 		32 12  5 15  32:35 -3   41 
12 Arminia Bielefeld 	32 11  6 15  35:46 -11  39 
13 1. FC Nürnberg 	32 10  8 14  51:55 -4   38 
14 FSV Mainz 05 	32 10  7 15  45:52 -7   37 
15 Bor. M'gladbach 	32  8 11 13  34:46 -12  35
-------------------------------------------------- 
16 VfL Bochum 		32  7  8 17  44:68 -24  29 
17 Hansa Rostock 	32  7  8 17  29:62 -33  29 
18 SC Freiburg 		32  3  9 20  27:68 -41  18 

Still a lot to play for, but it's two minutes to midnight. 1860 and Fürth keep their chances for promotion alive, but Aachen was unceremoniously dumped and is now basically eliminated.

On the bottom, Oberhausen and Erfurt are now officially relegated. Ahlen and Essen are barely hanging on. Trier's stunner at already promoted Köln looks to be the result that saves them.

Karlsruher SC        - RotWeiss Erfurt 	    2:0 (1:0) 
1. FC Köln 	     - Eintracht Trier      1:2 (0:1) 
Dynamo Dresden 	     - Erzgebirge Aue       1:0 (1:0) 
1860 München 	     - Alemannia Aachen     3:0 (1:0)
SVW Burghausen 	     - Energie Cottbus      0:0 (0:0)
1. FC Saarbrücken    - SpVgg Unterhaching   0:1 (0:0) 
RotWeiss Oberhausen  - LR Ahlen             2:2 (1:1) 
RotWeiss Essen 	     - Greuther Fürth       0:2 (0:0) 
Eintracht Frankfurt  - MSV Duisburg         -:- Monday night 

 1 1. FC Köln 		32 18  7  7  57:33 +24  61 
 2 MSV Duisburg 	31 18  5  8  48:29 +19  59 
 3 Eintracht Frankfurt 	31 17  4 10  59:38 +21  55
-------------------------------------------------- 
 4 TSV 1860 München 	32 14 12  6  46:33 +13  54 
 5 Greuther Fürth 	32 16  5 11  48:39 +9   53 
 6 Alemannia Aachen 	32 15  6 11  57:37 +20  51 
 7 Wacker Burghausen 	32 13  9 10  46:49 -3   48 
 8 Erzgebirge Aue 	32 14  5 13  46:39 +7   47 
 9 Dynamo Dresden 	32 13  4 15  42:50 -8   43 
10 SpVgg Unterhaching 	32 13  3 16  39:41 -2   42 
11 1. FC Saarbrücken 	32 11  6 15  43:47 -4   39 
12 Energie Cottbus 	32 10  9 13  33:42 -9   39 
13 Eintracht Trier 	32  9 11 12  36:48 -12  38 
14 Karlsruher SC 	32  9 10 13  39:44 -5   37
-------------------------------------------------- 
15 LR Ahlen 		32  8  9 15  36:45 -9   33 
16 RotWeiss Essen 	32  6 15 11  34:47 -13  33 
17 RotWeiss Oberhausen 	32  7  9 16  37:61 -24  30 
18 RotWeiss Erfurt 	32  7  9 16  33:57 -24  30 

Bundesliga Round 31 Wrapup

Bayern wins another championship. You can go back to sleep now...

The inevitable happened as Schalke once again stumbled, blowing a 3-1 halftime lead at home against Bayer Aspirin. Since Bayern romped against a hapless Kaiserslautern, yet another Bundesliga title goes to München. (Their 19th championship, 18 of which are Bundesliga). Bayern's cakewalk in the Betzenberg is somewhat shocking, since you could usually expect the Red Devils to put up a fight at home, but since their season has petered out, maybe the players decided to just phone it in.

Nevertheless, despite their crap result, Schalke actually gained some breathing room in their quest for 2nd, as Stuttgart and Hertha dropped points. Bremen re-entered the CL race with their emphatic win over Bielefeld, and Hertha's brainfart in the eastern derby at Rostock certainly didn't help their chances. Hamburg missed a golden chance to move closer to a UEFA spot by a crap performance against Volkswagen.

At the bottom, Mainz took a decisive victory at Bochum, ensuring their own survival and probably sending Bochum and Rostock back down. Coach Jürgen Klopp should certainly be a candidate for Manager of the Year, as everybody picked Mainz to immediately drop down. Looks like they'll have to wait until next year to fufill their destiny:) Gladbach's win was huge, and although Nürnberg loss, their superior goal difference weighs heavily. 3 points is all they need for security. Gladbach needs 4, and of course Bochum and Rostock have to win all three of their games to even have any chance.

 

BUNDESLIGA:

VfL Bochum       -  FSV Mainz 05        2:6 (1:1) 
1. FC Kaisersl.  -  Bayern München      0:4 (0:2) 
SC Freiburg      -  Borussia Dortmund   2:2 (1:2) 
Werder Bremen    -  Arminia Bielefeld   3:0 (1:0)  
FC Schalke 04    -  Bayer Leverkusen    3:3 (3:1) 
Hansa Rostock    -  Hertha BSC Berlin   2:1 (1:0) 
Bor. M'gladbach  -  VfB Stuttgart       2:0 (2:0) 
VfL Wolfsburg    -  Hamburger SV        1:0 (1:0) 
Hannover 96      -  1. FC Nürnberg      1:0 (0:0) 


 1 Bayern München 	31  21  5  5  62:27 +35  68 
 2 FC Schalke 04 	31  18  3 10  50:42 +8   57 
 3 VfB Stuttgart 	31  16  7  8  52:35 +17  55
--------------------------------------------------- 
 4 Werder Bremen 	31  16  5 10  62:34 +28  53 
 5 Hertha BSC Berlin	31  14 11  6  56:30 +26  53
--------------------------------------------------- 
 6 Bayer Leverkusen 	31  14  8  9  55:41 +14  50 
 7 Hamburger SV 	31  16  2 13  54:47 +7   50 
 8 Borussia Dortmund 	31  12 10  9  42:42  0   46 
 9 VfL Wolfsburg 	31  14  2 15  44:45 -1   44 
10 Hannover 96 		31  12  5 14  32:34 -2   41 
11 1. FC Kaiserslautern 31  11  6 14  38:46 -8   39 
12 Arminia Bielefeld 	31  11  6 14  35:44 -9   39 
13 FSV Mainz 05 	31  10  7 14  43:48 -5   37 
14 1. FC Nürnberg 	31   9  8 14  49:54 -5   35 
15 Bor. M'gladbach 	31   8 10 13  34:46 -12  34
--------------------------------------------------- 
16 VfL Bochum 		31   7  8 16  43:66 -23  29 
17 Hansa Rostock 	31   7  8 16  29:59 -30  29 
18 SC Freiburg 		31   3  9 19  26:66 -40  18 

K&oulm;n returns to the Bundesliga! With their Monday Night away win, the "Goats" (Geissböcke) clinched a promotion spot and return after a one-year hiatus. Duisburg's victory also virtually assures them of going up as well. Frankfurt's big away win tightens their hold on 3rd, the last promotion spot, as 1860 dropped points in a disappointing home effort against relegation battling Essen. Aachen passed 1860 into 4th, thumping Cottbus.

The relagation battle remains tight. Saarbrücken's win pretty much ensures their survival, but the clubs fromm Cottbus on down remain in trouble. Oberhausen looks to be the only team to be going down for sure.

As far as the 3rd Division Regionalliga is concerned, in the North, Paderborn had a stunning 4-1 win over VfB Lübeck to grab 1st. Lübeck is 2nd, with Braunschweig also dropping points down to 3rd. In the South, Kickers Offenbach has all but wrapped up the title, although the 2nd promotion spot is up for grabs. 1.SC Feucht is the first team to be relegated. Although they maintain a lower mid-table position, the club decided to accept voluntary relegation, as they did not apply for a 3rd division license renewal.

 


2.LIGA:
------

Greuther Fürth      -  RotWeiss Oberhausen   3:2 (3:2) 
SpVgg Unterhaching  -  Dynamo Dresden        1:0 (0:0) 
RotWeiss Erfurt     -  Eintracht Frankfurt   0:3 (0:3) 
MSV Duisburg        -  SVW Burghausen        4:3 (1:3) 
Alemannia Aachen    -  Energie Cottbus       4:0 (3:0) 
1860 München        -  RotWeiss Essen        0:0 (0:0) 
LR Ahlen            -  1. FC Saarbrücken     2:3 (1:0) 
Eintracht Trier     -  Karlsruher SC         0:2 (0:1) 
Erzgebirge Aue      -  1. FC Köln 	     1:2


 1 1. FC Köln 		31  18  7  6  56:31 +25  61 
 2 MSV Duisburg 	31  18  5  8  48:29 +19  59 
 3 Eintracht Frankfurt 	31  17  4 10  59:38 +21  55
--------------------------------------------------- 
 4 Alemannia Aachen 	31  15  6 10  57:34 +23  51 
 5 TSV 1860 München 	31  13 12  6  43:33 +10  51 
 6 Greuther Fürth 	31  15  5 11  46:39 +7   50 
 7 Erzgebirge Aue 	31  14  5 12  46:38 +8   47 
 8 Wacker Burghausen 	31  13  8 10  46:49 -3   47 
 9 Dynamo Dresden 	31  12  4 15  41:50 -9   40 
10 1. FC Saarbrücken 	31  11  6 14  43:46 -3   39 
11 Energie Cottbus 	31  10  8 13  33:42 -9   38 
12 SpVgg Unterhaching 	31  11  3 17  36:43 -7   36 
13 Eintracht Trier 	31   8 11 12  34:47 -13  35 
14 Karlsruher SC 	31   8 10 13  37:44 -7   34
--------------------------------------------------- 
15 RotWeiss Essen 	31   6 15 10  34:45 -11  33 
16 RotWeiss Erfurt 	31   8  9 14  35:53 -18  33 
17 LR Ahlen 		31   8  8 15  34:43 -9   32 
18 RotWeiss Oberhausen 	31   7  8 16  35:59 -24  29 

Ref scandal update

Robert Hoyzer has been "banned for life", which by DFB precedent (from the 1971 Bundesliga-Skandal) means that he'll probably be back on the pitch in about 12 months. The DFB also handed out a 3 month suspension to some referee I've never heard of.

Bundesliga Round 30 Wrapup

This was the decisive round as you can wrap up another title for Bayern, thanks to Schalke's collapse. While Bayern was breaking down a desperate Bochum squad, Schalke got reemed in Berlin for their 3rd loss in a row. In fact, Schalke's collapse is likely to mean their failure to gain the Champions League, as although they currently are 2nd, they apparently suck too much and are unlikely to hold on. Stuttgart only got a point, but along with Berlin, have a good chance to take the CL spots. Bremen barfed, apparently alergic to Aspirin, and missed a golden chance to join the fray.

In the relegation battle, Mainz, Gladbach and Nürnberg grabbed critical points. Freiburg is now mathematically eliminated, but depsite going down in flames, Bochum and Rostock are still with chances.

The 2.Liga remains a vicious dogfight. Frankfurt was the big winner, as 1860 and Greuther Fürth laid eggs. Erfurt had a huge away win in their battle against relegation.

 
 

BUNDESLIGA:

Borussia Dortmund  -  1. FC Kaisersl.   4:2 (2:2) 
Arminia Bielefeld  -  SC Freiburg 	3:1 (1:1)
Bayern München     -  VfL Bochum 	3:1 (2:0)
FSV Mainz 05       -  Hannover 96 	2:0 (1:0)
VfB Stuttgart      -  VfL Wolfsburg 	0:0 (0:0)
Hamburger SV       -  Hansa Rostock 	3:0 (0:0) 
Hertha BSC Berlin  -  FC Schalke 04 	4:1 (2:1) 
1. FC Nürnberg     -  Bor. M'gladbach 	0:0 (0:0) 
Bayer Leverkusen   -  Werder Bremen 	2:1 (2:1) 


 1 Bayern München 	30 20  5  5  58:27  +31  65 
 2 FC Schalke 04 	30 18  2 10  47:39  +8   56 
 3 VfB Stuttgart 	30 16  7  7  52:33  +19  55
--------------------------------------------------- 
 4 Hertha BSC Berlin	30 14 11  5  55:28  +27  53 
 5 Werder Bremen 	30 15  5 10  59:34  +25  50
--------------------------------------------------- 
 6 Hamburger SV 	30 16  2 12  54:46  +8   50 
 7 Bayer Leverkusen 	30 14  7  9  52:38  +14  49 
 8 Borussia Dortmund 	30 12  9  9  40:40   0   45 
 9 VfL Wolfsburg 	30 13  2 15  43:45  -2   41 
10 1. FC Kaiserslautern 30 11  6 13  38:42  -4   39 
11 Arminia Bielefeld 	30 11  6 13  35:41  -6   39 
12 Hannover 96 		30 11  5 14  31:34  -3   38 
13 1. FC Nürnberg 	30  9  8 13  49:53  -4   35 
14 FSV Mainz 05 	30  9  7 14  37:46  -9   34 
15 Bor. M'gladbach 	30  7 10 13  32:46  -14  31
--------------------------------------------------- 
16 VfL Bochum 		30  7  8 15  41:60  -19  29 
17 Hansa Rostock 	30  6  8 16  27:58  -31  26 
18 SC Freiburg 		30  3  8 19  24:64  -40  17 


2.Liga:
------

RW Essen            -  Alemannia Aachen   0:2 (0:1) 
Eintracht Frankfurt -  Eintracht Trier    2:0 (1:0) 
Karlsruher SC       -  Erzgebirge Aue     0:1 (0:0) 
RW Oberhausen       -  1860 München       0:0 (0:0) 
Energie Cottbus     -  MSV Duisburg       1:0 (0:0) 
SVW Burghausen      -  RW Erfurt          0:2 (0:0)
Dynamo Dresden 	    -  LR Ahlen           3:1 (0:1)
1. FC Saarbrücken   -  Greuther Fürth     2:1 (1:1)
1.FC Köln      -  Unterhaching       (Monday)


 1 MSV Duisburg 	30 17  5  8  44:26  +18  56 
 2 1. FC Köln 		29 16  7  6  53:30  +23  55 
 3 Eintracht Frankfurt 	30 16  4 10  56:38  +18  52
--------------------------------------------------- 
 4 TSV 1860 München 	30 13 11  6  43:33  +10  50 
 5 Alemannia Aachen 	30 14  6 10  53:34  +19  48 
 6 Erzgebirge Aue 	30 14  5 11  45:36  +9   47 
 7 Greuther Fürth 	30 14  5 11  43:37  +6   47 
 8 Wacker Burghausen 	29 12  8  9  40:44  -4   44 
 9 Dynamo Dresden 	30 12  4 14  41:49  -8   40 
10 Energie Cottbus 	30 10  8 12  33:38  -5   38 
11 1. FC Saarbrücken 	30 10  6 14  40:44  -4   36 
12 Eintracht Trier 	30  8 11 11  34:45  -11  35 
13 SpVgg Unterhaching 	29 10  3 16  35:42  -7   33 
14 RotWeiss Erfurt 	30  8  9 13  35:50  -15  33
--------------------------------------------------- 
15 LR Ahlen 		29  8  8 13  31:37  -6   32 
16 RotWeiss Essen 	30  6 14 10  34:45  -11  32 
17 Karlsruher SC 	30  7 10 13  35:44  -9   31 
18 RotWeiss Oberhausen 	30  7  8 15  33:56  -23  29 

More ref scandal news

One of the refs implicated, Felix Zeyer, has vehemently denied all charges and demanded he be re-instated. Rot-Weiss Erfurt has shown that they iron-balls, as they've applied to have all 2.Liga relegation rules overturned. I guess it's yet another indication that there really are too many lawyers on the planet. I'm sure that would go over like the proverbial turd-in-a-punch-bowl, and would only further increase the similarites with Italy's Serie "Ha" and Serie "Bay". Anyway, if a majority of the 36 upper division clubs agree, then the matter will be taken up officially by the DFB. Meanwhile, the protests of LR Ahlen and Karlsruher SC regarding various results have been denied by the DFB investigative commitee.

More Erfurt news

Boy, they are hogging this week's reports. One of their players, Slovenian Senad Tiganj, tested positive for some illegal substance. Meanwhile, the club is apparently lacking some 750,000 euros. In additional, debts are some 3.6 million euros. The club basically admitted it was incompetant cost estimation, for example, estimating stadium rent of only 30,000 euors, while they actually owed 200,000. The club hopes to attract additional sponsors and raise prices to survive, which is really only possible in the 2.Liga, hence their outrageous actions to get all relegation overturned.

Bundesliga Round 29 Wrapup

A huge round that might have finally decided the championship. Bayern got a last minute goal by Owen Hargreaves, and about the same time Schalke took one up the rear courstesy a wimpy slow roller by ex-Schalker Emile Mpenza. Reserve HSV keeper Stefan Waechter preserved the win with several brilliant saves, including a great stop on a last second free-kick. Since Rostock stunned Stuttgart, that pretty much wraps up a title for Bayern, as it is unlikely that the multiple brain-farts necessary to blow a 6 point lead will occur. The relegation battle heats up with everybody except crap Freiburg grabbing points. Aside from Rostock, Bochum had a huge win, as did Nürnberg away. mainz got a precious point on a late goal by Michael Thurk. You may recall that it was Thurk's goal that sent Mainz up last seaon - but he transferred to Cottbus. Perhaps he then decided he was too lonely, as he couldn't find any one to speak German with at Energie, so he transferred back int he winter.

 
 

M'gladbach         -  FSV Mainz 05 	1:1 (0:0) 
Hannover 96        -  Bayern München 	0:1 (0:0) 
Borussia Dortmund  -  Arminia Bielefeld 1:1 (1:0) 
SC Freiburg 	   -  Bayer Leverkusen 	1:3 (1:1) 
Werder Bremen 	   -  Hertha BSC 	0:1 (0:1) 
FC Schalke 04      -  Hamburger SV 	1:2 (1:0) 
Hansa Rostock      -  VfB Stuttgart 	2:1 (1:0) 
1. FC Kaisersl.    -  VfL Bochum 	1:2 (0:1) 
VfL Wolfsburg      -  1. FC Nürnberg  	0:1 (0:0) 


 1 Bayern München 	29 19  5  5   55:26 +29  62 
 2 FC Schalke 04 	29 18  2  9   46:35 +11  56
--------------------------------------------------- 
 3 VfB Stuttgart 	29 16  6  7   52:33 +19  54 
 4 Werder Bremen 	29 15  5  9   58:32 +26  50 
 5 Hertha BSC 		29 13 11  5   51:27 +24  50 
 6 Hamburger SV 	29 15  2 12   51:46 +5   47 
 7 Bayer Leverkusen 	29 13  7  9   50:37 +13  46 
 8 Borussia Dortmund 	29 11  9  9   36:38 -2   42 
 9 VfL Wolfsburg 	29 13  1 15   43:45 -2   40 
10 1. FC Kaisersl'n	29 11  6 12   36:38 -2   39 
11 Hannover 96 		29 11  5 13   31:32 -1   38 
12 Arminia Bielefeld 	29 10  6 13   32:40 -8   36 
13 1. FC Nürnberg 	29  9  7 13   49:53 -4   34 
14 FSV Mainz 05 	29  8  7 14   35:46 -11  31 
15 Bor. M'gladbach 	29  7  9 13   32:46 -14  30
--------------------------------------------------- 
16 VfL Bochum 		29  7  8 14   40:57 -17  29 
17 Hansa Rostock 	29  6  8 15   27:55 -28  26 
18 SC Freiburg 		29  3  8 18   23:61 -38  17 

Looking at the bottom, it's a bad year to have red and white colors. But the tight battle means that not even Dresden in 9th place is completely safe. At the moment, it looks like the replacements coming up from the Regionalliga will be SC Paderborn and Eintracht Braunschweig (North) and Kickers Offenbach and SpFr Siegen (South).

 
 

 1 1. FC Köln 		29 16  7  6  53:30 +23  55 
 2 MSV Duisburg 	28 17  4  7  44:25 +19  55 
 3 Eintracht Frankfurt 	29 15  4 10  54:38 +16  49
-------------------------------------------------- 
 4 1860 München 	29 13 10  6  43:33 +10  49 
 5 Greuther Fürth 	29 14  5 10  42:35 +7   47 
 6 Alemannia Aachen 	28 13  5 10  51:34 +17  44 
 7 Erzgebirge Aue 	29 13  5 11  44:36 +8   44 
 8 Wacker Burghausen 	29 12  8  9  40:43 -3   44 
 9 Dynamo Dresden 	29 11  4 14  38:48 -10  37 
10 LR Ahlen 		29  9  8 12  31:34 -3   35 
11 Energie Cottbus 	29  9  8 12  32:38 -6   35 
12 Eintracht Trier 	29  8 11 10  34:43 -9   35 
13 1. FC Saarbrücken 	29  9  6 14  38:43 -5   33 
14 SpVgg Unterhaching 	29 10  3 16  35:42 -7   33
-------------------------------------------------- 
15 RotWeiss Essen 	29  6 14  9  34:43 -9   32 
16 Karlsruher SC 	29  7 10 12  35:43 -8   31 
17 RotWeiss Erfurt 	29  7  9 13  33:50 -17  30 
18 RotWeiss Oberhausen 	29  7  7 15  33:56 -23  28 

Germany raus!

Bayern managed to win 3-2 against Chelsea in the Champions League, but were eliminated on Goal difference. This ensures Germany's worst ever foray into European club competition. Well actually, I'm sure they've done crap before but this campaign certainly sucked.

Bundesliga Round 28 Wrapup

Important results this weekend may have decided some of the issues. Bayern came from behind to win on a late header from Michael Ballack against a Gladbach team battling relegation. Meanwhile, Schalke got stuffed by Stuttgart in an em-bare-assing display. This not only maintains Mathhias Sammer's squad slight title hopes, but almost ensures qualification for some European competition next season. Another critical match was Nürnberg slapping Rostock, which just about means lights out for the easterners. Bochum meanwhile got critical points, and are still alive.

Hertha BSC Berlin -  SC Freiburg        3:1 (2:0)
Bayer Leverkusen  -  Borussia Dortmund  0:1 (0:0)
VfL Bochum        -  Hannover 96        1:0 (0:0)
Bayern München    -  Bor. M'gladbach    2:1 (0:0) 
FSV Mainz 05      -  VfL Wolfsburg      0:2 (0:0) 
VfB Stuttgart     -  FC Schalke 04      3:0 (1:0)
Hamburger SV      -  Werder Bremen      1:2 (0:1)
Arminia Bielefeld -  1. FC Kaisersl.    0:2 (0:2) 
1. FC Nürnberg    -  Hansa Rostock      3:0 (0:0) 

 1 Bayern München 	28  18  5  5  54:26  +28  59 
 2 FC Schalke 04 	28  18  2  8  45:33  +12  56 
----------------------------------------------------
 3 VfB Stuttgart 	28  16  6  6  51:31  +20  54 
 4 Werder Bremen 	28  15  5  8  58:31  +27  50
---------------------------------------------------- 
 5 Hertha BSC Berlin 	28  12 11  5  50:27  +23  47 
 6 Hamburger SV 	28  14  2 12  49:45  +4   44 
 7 Bayer Leverkusen 	28  12  7  9  47:36  +11  43 
 8 Borussia Dortmund 	28  11  8  9  35:37  -2   41 
 9 VfL Wolfsburg 	28  13  1 14  43:44  -1   40 
10 1. FC Kaisersl'n 	28  11  6 11  35:36  -1   39 
11 Hannover 96 		28  11  5 12  31:31   0   38 
12 Arminia Bielefeld 	28  10  5 13  31:39  -8   35 
13 1. FC Nürnberg 	28   8  7 13  48:53  -5   31 
14 FSV Mainz 05 	28   8  6 14  34:45  -11  30 
15 Bor. M'gladbach 	28   7  8 13  31:45  -14  29
---------------------------------------------------- 
16 VfL Bochum 		28   6  8 14  38:56  -18  26 
17 Hansa Rostock 	28   5  8 15  25:54  -29  23 
18 SC Freiburg 		28   3  8 17  22:58  -36  17 

DFB to McBerti: Get lost!

Despite Jürgen Klinsmann's reputation of getting everything he wants, the DFB has decided to resist when it comes to naming Berti Vogts "Technical Director". Although this job is not specified (rumours has it that a critical part is making sure the beer taps are functioning, hence the "technical"), the DFB hemmed and hawed and has basically forgotten about it.

FIFA Confederations Cup in Deutschland

Meanwhile, Jürgen has stated that the upcoming "FIFA Confederations Cup" is critical. As one might recall, the German 1999 appearance was one of the most disgraceful in German history, which ranks up there with Stalingrad and any Heino song. Germany is hosting this "mini-WorldCup" in June. Klinsmann's squad will be well-tested in matches against Burkina Faso, Surinam and Maldive Islands. "I fully expect to get at least 6 points" stated Jürgen, whose infectious enthusiasm is sweeping the land. This would set up a semi-final clash with powerhouse Western Samoa....OK, serious, Germany's group includes the Aussies, the Argies and the Tunies, so it should be a half-way decent test.

Bayern still alive in Champions League

Bayern got stuffed 2-4 in midweek Champions League clash at Stamford Bridge against Chelsea. After falling behind early, the Münchners pressed hard, but couldn't finish. Then in the 2nd half they got rolled, but a late penalty gives them a decent position for the return match in Olympiastadion, where a 2-0 would see them through. It's not like Abseits to root for FC Hollywood, but given the disgraceful exit of all other German clubs from European competition, they need the victory to salvage at least some honor for the Bundesliga - and knocking over Chelski Londonov would be a major accomplishment.

First player banned in referee scandal

Although we previously indicated that Chemnitz' Steffen Karl was kicked off the squad and arrested, he wasn't actually banned. Instead, Paderborn's Thijs Waterink was banned by the DFB till end of the season. Supposedly Waterink distributed bribe money from referee Robert Hoyzer. But the match in question was Paderborn's upset win over Hamburg in the DFB Cup. This of course makes no sense, since the players were being bribed to WIN, or at least take swan dives in the penalty box, which they do anyway. But what do you expect from an organization which has to reorganize the lower divisions every few years?

Heinz Weisener dies

The ex-president of St.Pauli, Heinz Weisener, died at age 77. Wesiner was president of the club from 1990-2000, and probably spent some 10 million euros of his personal fortune to save the club's ass from going under. Ironically, his club probably finished him off with their disgraceful 0-3 defeat to Düsseldorf this weekend, eliminating any hope of promotion from the Regionalliga...

Bundesliga Round 27 Wrapup

Whereas leaders Bayern and Schalke kept pace with easy wins, Werder's slim hopes for a title defense were finally erased as they were unceremoniously dumped at home to Stuttgart. At this point, even the Champions League seems remote, which is probably a good thing, since their disgraceful exit against Lyon. Stuttgart's win puts them in the drivers seat for the coveted 3rd spot. With Hertha, Hamburg and Alka-Seltzer all dropping points, Hannover and Dortmund's wins give them a slight hope of UEFA qualification.

At the bottom, Hansa Rostock took their last chance to stay up with only their second home win. Bochum could have used the full points in their encounter with Gladbach to creep closer, but failed. I'm sure we'll hear coacgh Peter Neururer whine about the referees all this week.

Schalke 04  -  Nurnberg 	4:1
W. Bremen   -  Stuttgart 	1:2
Freiburg    -  HSV 		1:1
Bielefeld   -  Leverkusen 	1:0
Kaisersl.   -  Hannover 	0:2
Wolfsburg   -  FC Bayern 	0:3
Rostock     -  Mainz 05		2:0
Dortmund    -  Hertha BSC 	2:1
Mönchengl.  -  VfL Bochum 	2:2

 1 FC Bayern 	27  17 5  5  52:25 +27  56 
 2 Schalke 04 	27  18 2  7  45:30 +15  56 
 3 Stuttgart 	27  15 6  6  48:31 +17  51 
 4 W. Bremen 	27  14 5  8  56:30 +26  47 
 5 Hertha BSC 	27  11 11 5  47:26 +21  44 
 6 Hamburger SV 27  14 2 11  48:43 +5   44 
 7 Leverkusen 	27  12 7  8  47:35 +12  43 
 8 Hannover 	27  11 5 11  31:30 +1   38 
 9 Dortmund 	27  10 8  9  34:37 -3   38 
10 Wolfsburg 	27  12 1 14  41:44 -3   37 
11 Kaisersl. 	27  10 6 11  33:36 -3   36 
12 Bielefeld 	27  10 5 12  31:37 -6   35 
13 Mainz 05 	27   8 6 13  34:43 -9   30 
14 Mönchengl. 	27   7 8 12  30:43 -13  29 
15 Nürnberg 	27   7 7 13  45:53 -8   28 
16 VfL Bochum 	27   5 8 14  37:56 -19  23 
17 Rostock 	27   5 8 14  25:51 -26  23 
18 Freiburg 	27   3 8 16  21:55 -34  17 

Keep tabs on your Credit report!

Maybe there's something to those annoying advertisements to keep an eye on your credit report - for a minor fee, of course. Well, apparently Hertha BSC general manager Dieter Hoeness did. He noticed that Hertha ended up being ranked lower than Borussia Bankrupt, and lodged a formal protest, claiming that the "Creditreform" institute used outdated numbers. (They issue an annual report on the creditworthiness of 36 clubs in the Bundesliga/2.Liga). Sure enough, he was right, and Hertha was lifted into 12th place. Needless to say, bayern was top dog here too, and Dortmund ends up worst Bundesliga club.

Kentucky Fried Uerdingen?

KFC Uerdingen is in dire straits. The Krefeld club, which is now in it's 100 year anniversary (having started as Bayer Uerdingen), could be going belly-up. The club has asked the courts to go into bankruptcy proceedings, and the courts have appointed an administrator. The hope is that after examiniation that club will be allowed to continue and work out a debt relief plan. Some 1.6 million euros of red ink are a dire threat, but so far the plan is to continue the season. The squad did play on Saturday, winning 1-0 against amateur Volkswagens, and hold a seecure 7th place in the 3rd division Regionalliga Nord. It would be a sad day indeed if one of Germany's scrappiest clubs were to be wound up.

Germany squeak by

The national squad hardly convered themselves with glory, as they barely upended pipsqueak Slovenia 1-0 in a friendly held at Celje. germany once again played in their red-jersies, which make them look like Switzerland. That's beginning to make sense, because they play about as crap as the Swiss too. The German squad was strong in the first half, and 2nd division Köln youngster Lukas Podolski gave them the lead after 27 minutes, knocking in a rebound after Oliver Neuville's shot. However, in the 2nd half, the Slovenians put the DFB squad under a lot of pressure, and in the end, germany was fortunate to squeeze out the victory. Team boss Jürgen Klinsmann mentioned that it was a difficult win "Slovenia kept interrupting the flow of our game and it's tough when you're the visiting team to get into your game with so many interruptions."

In somewhat related news, the DFB announced a 300,000 euro bonus for each player if Germany wins the 2006 World Cup. Given their current performance, the DFB doesn't need to add to their savings account for a payout...

Slovenians suffer "English disease" with German accent

German hooligans ran rampant with disgraceful behaviour as smashed windows and tables at a hotel and restaurant before the match. The DFB issued an official apology to Slovenia and promised to "get" the troublemakers. Some 50 of the scumbags were arrested by Slovenian police. Franz Beckenbauer said he was "shocked", but then blamed it on the hosts, since they weren't prepared enough. Now that's a good one!

Lower league news

Since there were no Bundesliga or 2.Liga matches due to the international, the Regionalliga was the main show this weekend. In the South division, Kickers Offenbach continue to lead, and look a good bet to return to the 2.Liga. Sportfreunde Siegen have the second promotion spot, although SV Wehen and SV Darmstadt have good chances as well. On the relegation side, FC Nöttingen is going down, but the other 3 spots are wide open.

In the North (generally considered more interesting, certainly via attendance), Eintracht Braunschweig and SC Paderborn continue to battle at the top, but have a good 5 points on VfB Lübeck for promotion. Osanbrück and St.pauli are in shouting distance, but need to make their move now. There are 5 relegation spots, and only 1.FC Union Berlin is sure to drop, although the worthless "amateur" squads of Wolfsburg and Bielefeld are thankfully likely to disappear as well. However, the remaining 2 droppers are still unknown, and hotly contested. Luckily, Wuppertaler SV managed a 3-1 away win at worthless Werder Amateurs to get some critical points.

Bundesliga 26th Round results

Schalke took one up the rear as they were unceremoniously dumped from 1st place by losing 1-2 at rejuvenated Mainz. Franz Gerber shocked the leaders with a goal after 20 seconds, and it wasn't until the 2nd half that Schalke was able to sustain pressure. After equalizing, Schalke was again stunned as Mainz retook the lead and held off the last desperate attacks. For Mainz, this win almost secures their Bundesliga survival, which is quite amazing given the unanimous preseason predictions of a quick demise. Bayern was hardly impressive, but regained the leadership with a 3-1 win over lame Rostock. Bremen and Stuttgart also managed unimpressive wins to stay close. At the bottom, Bochum recovered to beat up the Volkswagens and leave themselves with a bit of hope to stay up. The most entertaining match of the day was Dortmund's shock win at Hamburg, which saw end-to-end action, and some fantastic goals, particularily a long range shot by Tomas Rosicky to give the Bankrupts the lead, and a curling freekick by HSV's oldtimer Stefan Beinlich. Unfortunately for the Neons, Frankenstein (Jan Koller) left early with an injury that may cause him to miss some games, but his replacement Ewerthon got the winner. Rosicky also went out injured, so this could prove a costly win for Dortmund.

 

Bayer Leverkusen -  1. FC Kaisersl. 	2:0 (1:0) 	
Hamburger SV 	 -  Borussia Dortmund 	2:3 (1:1) 	
Hertha BSC 	 -  Arminia Bielefeld 	3:0 (1:0) 
Hannover 96 	 -  Bor. M'gladbach 	2:1 (0:1)
VfL Bochum 	 -  VfL Wolfsburg 	5:1 (4:0) 	
Bayern München 	 -  Hansa Rostock 	3:1 (1:1) 	
1. FC Nürnberg 	 -  Werder Bremen 	1:2 (0:2) 	
VfB Stuttgart 	 -  SC Freiburg 	1:0 (1:0) 
FSV Mainz 05 	 -  FC Schalke 04 	2:1 (1:0) 	

 1 Bayern München 	26  16 	5  5 	49:25 	+24 	53
 2 FC Schalke 04 	26  17 	2  7 	41:29 	+12 	53
 3 VfB Stuttgart 	26  14 	6  6 	46:30 	+16 	48
 4 Werder Bremen 	26  14 	5  7 	55:28 	+27 	47
 5 Hertha BSC 		26  11 	1 14 	46:24 	+22 	44
 6 Bayer Leverkusen 	26  12 	7  7 	47:34 	+13 	43
 7 Hamburger SV 	26  14 	1 11 	47:42 	+5 	43
 8 VfL Wolfsburg 	26  12 	1 13 	41:41 	0 	37
 9 1. FC Kaisersl. 	26  10 	6 10 	33:34 	-1 	36
10 Hannover 96 		26  10 	5 11 	29:30 	-1 	35
11 Borussia Dortmund 	26   9 	8  9 	32:36 	-4 	35
12 Arminia Bielefeld 	26   9 	5 12 	30:37 	-7 	32
13 FSV Mainz 05 	26   8 	6 12 	34:41 	-7 	30
14 1. FC Nürnberg 	26   7 	7 12 	44:49 	-5 	28
15 Bor. M'gladbach 	26   7 	7 12 	28:41 	-13 	28
16 VfL Bochum 		26   5 	7 14 	35:54 	-19 	22
17 Hansa Rostock 	26   4 	8 14 	23:51 	-28 	20
18 SC Freiburg 		26   3 	7 16 	20:54 	-34 	16

Bundesliga 25th Round results

The top clash between Schalke and Bayern had everything: two in form clubs tied at the top, a sold out stadium of 62,000 and an international TV audience. The only minor detail was that the game sucked. What a snoozer. Schalke won the match deservedly 1-0 on a beautiful swerving free kick by Lincoln after 70 minutes. This puts the blues in the lead, although based on their performance, they could easily be knocked off. Bremen continued to stink up the joint after their brilliant Champions League result against Lyon, and could only draw against Mainz. This makes it highly unlikely that Werder can defend their title. Stuttgart may have snuck back into contention with a win Borussia Bankrupt. The bottom saw a dramatic Rostock win over fellow struggler Bochum. This gives Hansa at least a tiny hope of staying up, whereas Bochum join Freiburg in booking a hotel in downtown Ahlen for next season. Many of the other matches were goal fests. The main significant event in Nürnberg's win was two more goals by the incredible Marek Mintal - in the last 5 minutes of the game to save "der Club". The attacking midfielder now has 21 goals, and has moved into 2nd behind Arsenal's Thierry Henry for the European Golden Boot award! Considering that nobody had even heard of him before this season, this is quite a feat.

 1 Schalke 04 	25 17 2  6  40:27 +13  53 
 2 FC Bayern 	25 15 5  5  46:24 +22  50 
 3 Stuttgart 	25 13 6  6  45:30 +15  45 
 4 W. Bremen 	25 13 5  7  53:27 +26  44 
 5 HSV 		25 14 1 10  45:39 +6   43	Freiburg - Nurnberg    2:3 
 6 Hertha BSC 	25 10 11 4  43:24 +19  41 	Bielefeld - Hamburg    3:4
 7 Leverkusen 	25 11 7  7  45:34 +11  40 	Leverkusen - Hertha    3:3
 8 Wolfsburg 	25 12 1 12  40:36 +4   37 	K'lautern - Gladbach   1:0
 9 Kaisersl. 	25 10 6  9  33:32 +1   36 	Wolfsburg - Hannover   1:0
10 Hannover 	25  9 5 11  27:29 -2   32 	Rostock - Bochum       3:1
11 Bielefeld 	25  9 5 11  30:34 -4   32 	Bremen - Mainz         0:0
12 Dortmund 	25  8 8  9  29:34 -5   32 	Dortmund - Stuttgart   0:2
13 Nürnberg 	25  7 7 11  43:47 -4   28 	Schalke - Bayern       1:0	
14 Mönchengl. 	25  7 7 11  27:39 -12  28 
15 Mainz 05 	25  7 6 12  32:40 -8   27 
16 Rostock 	25  4 8 13  22:48 -26  20 
17 VfL Bochum 	25  4 7 14  30:53 -23  19 
18 Freiburg 	25  3 7 15  20:53 -33  16 

Em-bare-assing Champions League results

Luckily Lederhosen München saved some of the Bundesliga honor by holding off The Arse in London, but Werder Bremen had the most disgraceful performance of any German champion in memory. Losing 0-3 at home to French champion Olympique Lyon was bad enough, but they also got stuffed 2-7 in the return match. Perhaps the DFB should suspend the cheating referee investigation and launch an inquiry into the alleged footballers wearing Werder uniforms. Perhaps the movie "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" will give the police some useful clues. Bayer Aspirin also crashed out losing to Liverpool, having been outplayed in both matches 1-3.

Referee scandal update

More fun with the ref bribery scandal. Dominik Marks, who we reported last week to have been accused by Robert Hoyzer, was arrested for questioning. The first player has also been arrested: Regionalliga club Chemnitzer FC's captain Steffen Karl has been removed from the squad. He has been brought to Berlin police HQ for questioning. Supposedly he was attempting to create a foul in the match against Paderborn so that ref Robert Hoyzer could call a penalty. Chemnitz lost 4-0. Perhaps the coppers are on to something. In the first match without Karl, Chemnitz ran out 3-0 winnners at Uerdingen, and have rekindled hope of staying up.

Dortmund to survive

Borussia Bankrupt will survive another season, as the club came to an agreement with creditors that should ensure solvency. Part of the plan involves buying back 40% of the Westfalen Stadium, and a rent moratorium on the remaining portion for a couple of years. (saving 17 million a year!). And after the moratorium is lifted, they'll pay less anyway, since they own a large chunk of the stadium. The first thought is undoubtedly that this purchase is to be financed with even more debt, since if they had had the cash lying around, there wouldn't be a crisis in the first place. But lo and behold, some accounting trickery makes it all possible, and one wonders why this wasn't done in the first place. Commerzbank, which owns 95% of the stadium, is releasing over 50 million euros in security deposit to Borussia, to allow them to start the plan. It still boggles the mind that the club has debts of over 100 million euros, when you consider that the listing on the stock market in 2000 netted the club over 300 million.

Bundesliga 24th Round results

The awaited clash between Bayern and champions Werder Bremen turned out to be a snoozer. Last year, Werder secured the title with an impressive win at the Olympiastadion, but this year, Bayern scored an early goal and everybody went to sleep. Schalke kept pace with an away derby win against a crap Bochum squad. The big loser this week was Freiburg. First they started out with a (respectable) 0-1 Bundesliga loss against Bayern. Then they had the "rematch" mid week in the DFB Cup. This time they got slaughtered 0-7. Then they wrapped it off with a crucial relegation battle at Mainz: a 0-5 Schlappe. Another Bronx cheer goes out to Hannover, for their disgraceful home loss to Rostock, who move off the bottom.

 1 Bayern München 	24 15 5  4  46:23 +23 50 
 2 FC Schalke 04 	24 16 2  6  39:27 +12 50 
 3 Werder Bremen 	24 13 4  7  53:27 +26 43 
 4 VfB Stuttgart 	24 12 6  6  43:30 +13 42 
 5 Hertha BSC 		24 10 10 4  40:21 +19 40    Mainz - Freiburg      5:0 
 6 Hamburger SV 	24 13 1 10  41:36 +5  40    Stuttgart - Bielefeld 2:1	
 7 Bayer Leverkusen 	24 11 6  7  42:31 +11 39    Hamburg - Leverkusen  1:0
 8 VfL Wolfsburg 	24 11 1 12  39:36 +3  34    Gladbach - Wolfsburg  1:0	
 9 1. FC Kaiserslautern 24  9 6  9  32:32  0  33    Hannover - Rostock    0:1
10 Hannover 96 		24  9 5 10  27:28 -1  32    Bochum - Schalke      0:2
11 Borussia Dortmund 	24  8 8  8  29:32 -3  32    Bayern - Bremen       1:0
12 Arminia Bielefeld 	24  9 5 10  27:30 -3  32    Hertha - Lautern      1:1
13 Bor. M'gladbach 	24  7 7 10  27:38 -11 28    Nurnberg - Dortmund   2:2
14 FSV Mainz 05 	24  7 5 12  32:40 -8  26 
15 1. FC Nürnberg 	24  6 7 11  40:45 -5  25 
16 VfL Bochum 		24  4 7 13  29:50 -21 19 
17 Hansa Rostock 	24  3 8 13  19:47 -28 17 
18 SC Freiburg 		24  3 7 14  18:50 -32 16 

Referee Betting Scandal News

The usual crap. Ref Robert Hoyzer was released from jail, but still has to report to the police. The judge decided he wasn't much of a flight risk.

The DFB rejected Freiburg's claims of fishy refereeing from some of their matches. According to the DFB, the Freiburgers should just accept that they're crap, so if they give up a goal, too bad. Judging from the recent Freiburg "evidence", the DFB might be on to something. Freiburg claimed that their 0-3 loss to Kaiserslautern was tainted, and Hoyzer had indicated that he had arranged a payment with the ref. But after watching a tape of the game, the DFB ruled that Freiburg just sucked, so even if the ref was paid, he didn't have to do anything. In a related story, apparently Freiburg fans are considering a class-action suit against the players for "impersonating professional soccer players." However, the lawsuit was delayed, as they couldn't find any Freiburg players that spoke German to serve with court papers. In any case, the Bundesliga therefore remains untouched by the scandal.

Meanwhile, the DFB ordered a replay of a worthless Regionalliga match between Arminia Bielefeld and Hertha BSC amateurs. Hoyzer supposedly gave the ref, Dominik Marks, some 6000 euros to throw this match. It seems a bit flimsy, since nobody even watched the game, let alone bet on it. The DFB also lifted the cup suspension of Hamburg's Emile Mpenza, who was tossed by Hoyzer in the fateful Paderborn cup tie. Mpenza was so thrilled, that he planned to go head-butt the nearest player in the next cup match, but since HSV already got a massive payoff from the DFB (see Feb.13), he'll have to wait a bit.

He's ready!

In an exclusive interview with "Bild Zeitung", Bayern's Mehmet Scholl stated he'll be ready when Jürgen Klinsmann calls him up to the national team. Klinsi's answer, "Mehmet Who?", apparently didn't dampen Scholl's optimism.

Bitteschön, that's 51 in Effenberg years...

Everybody's favorite love story, where Stefan Effenberg stole the wife of his teammate Thomas Strunz, doesn't have a happy ending. Despite the fact that they had each other's name tatooed on their bums, they've broken up after 2 years. (Stefan had earlier claimed they'd be together for 51 years.) Meanwhile, Stefan's court date in Wolfsburg was a no show, and the fine of 100,000 euros imposed for insulting police officers was left to stand. In a related stroy, demonstrating their concern for the health and well being of Claudia Strunz, "Bild Zeitung" ran an analysis of whether she's "psycho" or not...

Bundesliga 23rd Round results

No dramatic changes this week, as both Bayern and Schalke eeked out minimum wins. Defending champ horse-whipped hapless Bochum. The most impressive result was Hertha's hammering of in-form Hamburg. Dortmund thumped Mainz. Now if they could only figure out how hire an accountant they might be on to something.

 1 FC Bayern 	23 14 5  4  45:23 +22 47 
 2 Schalke 04 	23 15 2  6  37:27 +10 47 
 3 W. Bremen 	23 13 4  6  53:26 +27 43 
 4 Hertha BSC 	23 10 9  4  39:20 +19 39 	Bielefeld - Nurnberg 	3:1
 5 Leverkusen 	23 11 6  6  42:30 +12 39 	Hertha BSC - Hamburg	4:1
 6 Stuttgart 	23 11 6  6  41:29 +12 39 	Kaisersl. - Wolfsburg	0:0
 7 HSV 		23 12 1 10  40:36 +4  37 	Rostock - Gladbach	0:0
 8 Wolfsburg 	23 11 1 11  39:35 +4  34 	Bremen - Bochum		4:0
 9 Kaisersl. 	23  9 5  9  31:31  0  32 	Freiburg - Bayern	0:1
10 Hannover 	23  9 5  9  27:27  0  32 	Dortmund - Mainz	3:0
11 Bielefeld 	23  9 5  9  26:28 -2  32 	Leverkusen - Stuttgart	1:1
12 Dortmund 	23  8 7  8  27:30 -3  31 	Schalke - Hannover	1:0
13 Mönchengl. 	23  6 7 10  26:38 -12 25 
14 Nürnberg 	23  6 6 11  38:43 -5  24 
15 Mainz 05 	23  6 5 12  27:40 -13 23 
16 VfL Bochum 	23  4 7 12  29:48 -19 19 
17 Freiburg 	23  3 7 13  18:45 -27 16 
18 Rostock 	23  2 8 13  18:47 -29 14 

Virtually all German clubs sucked eggs in European competition over last week. The only decent result was Bayern knocking off Arsenal 3-1 in the Champions League, and Bayer Aspirins still has a chance after losing by the same score in Liverpool. Werder Bremen disgraced the Bundesliga thoroughly by getting thumped 0-3 at home to Lyon. Meanwhile, all 3 remaining UEFA Cup participants crashed out, Schalke (0-1 at home to Donetzk), Aachen (to Alkmaar) and Stuttgart (against some worthless Italian club.)

It's official...Dortmund run by idiots

The numbers continue to shock. The club announced that they lost some 55 million euros in the last 6 months! As a stock market listed club, Borussia's accounts are subject to more rigorous scrutiny than SportFreunde Dönberg, from whom the BVB management are undoubtedly seeking a loan to tide them over. The only bright spot is that debt has actually been reduced to about 90 million euros. It could have even been better, but the club found out (much to their chagrin) that "stars" like Lars Ricken, whom they were carrying on their books at valuations of 15 million or so actually turned out to be worth a bit less. Rumour is that aforementioned Dönberger Sportfreunde have offered Dortmund a case of Schwelmer Pils along with a year's subscription to "Sport-Bild" for the rights to the former German international...

Still Berti McVogts...

Apparently we jumped the gun in reporting that Berti Vogts was named Technical Director and Chief Scout by Indian Chief Jürgen Klinsmann. The DFB has officially postponed the decision to see if there's a way that they can prevent Berti from doing further damage. Meanwhile DFB Youth coach Michael Skibbe stated that he categorically refused to work und Bundes-Berti. Which seems a bit odd, since Skibbe's basic claim to fame is being a crap Dortmund coach until he got booted out, so he would fit right in with Vogts...

Ailton's future in professional wrestling?

In an interview in the highly regarded Sport-Bild, the sports edition of Bild Zeitung, one of the World's most repected publications (after News of the World, The Sun, National Inquirer and "US Office of President News Release"), the chunky Brazilian solidified his regard for the Schalke fans by stating he's "out of here" in 2006. Says he wants to win the title this year and then maybe "go back to Bremen". Like the Bremers would even want him. Then his plans include such soccer hotbeds as "Qatar or Japan". Despite his recent brilliant form, perhaps if his girth continues to expand, he should consider ringing up Vince McMahon and start a career in professional wrestling.

Bundesliga 22nd Round roundup

Not a good week for Borussia Dortmund. First, the Neons announced they would go bankrupt unless they could each an agreement with their creditors. After much wrangling, they were finally able to announce some settlement late Friday, but they obviously had been taking it up the rear. Then they travelled down to München and got slaughtered 0-5 by the Lederhosen, in what has to be a most em-bare-assing loss in years. Roy Makaay picked up a hattrick. Not to be outdone, Schalke's Ailton also netted a tres, allowing the Blues to keep pace. Bremen and Alka-Seltzer had big wins, and Stuttgart got back on track. Important at the bottom was Bochum's win over Freiburg, giving them some hope of surviving.

 1 FC Bayern 	22 13 5  4 44:23 +21 44 
 2 Schalke 04	22 14 2  6 36:27 +9  44 
 3 W. Bremen 	22 12 4  6 49:26 +23 40 
 4 Leverkusen 	22 11 5  6 41:29 +12 38		Hannover - Bremen	1:4 
 5 Stuttgart 	22 11 5  6 40:28 +12 38 	Wolfsburg - Rostock	4:0
 6 Hamburger SV 22 12 1  9 39:32 +7  37 	Nurnberg - Leverkusen	2:4
 7 Hertha BSC 	22  9 9  4 35:19 +16 36 	Mainz - Bielefeld	0:0
 8 Wolfsburg 	22 11 0 11 39:35 +4  33 	Bayern - Dortmund	5:0
 9 Hannover	22  9 5  8 27:26 +1  32 	Bochum - Freiburg	3:1
10 Kaisersl. 	22  9 4  9 31:31  0  31 	Hamburg - K'lautern	2:1	
11 Bielefeld 	22  8 5  9 23:27 -4  29 	Gladbach - Schalke 	1:3
12 Dortmund	22  7 7  8 24:30 -6  28 	Stuttgart - Hertha 	1:0
13 Nürnberg 	22  6 6 10 37:40 -3  24 
14 Mönchengl. 	22  6 6 10 26:38 -12 24 
15 Mainz 05 	22  6 5 11 27:37 -10 23 
16 VfL Bochum 	22  4 7 11 29:44 -15 19 
17 Freiburg 	22  3 7 12 18:44 -26 16 
18 Rostock 	22  2 7 13 18:47 -29 13 

 

There's life after Scotland

Ex-Scotland manager Berti McVogts has renewed his German citizenship and has been appointed national team "Technical Director". This is part of Jürgen Klinsmann's plan to get jobs for all his old friends. Klinsi stated that Berti's role will be "like Aime Jacquet in France." The likely outcome is that all the players will ignore Berti, which is pretty much what they did when he was national team manager. Also, the press will have somebody to blame, which was a bit difficult until now, as Klinsmann is still quite popular.

Bundesliga 21st Round roundup

Leaders Bayern München disgraced themselves by getting thumped at Arminia Bielefeld, making them the laughingstock of the week. This enabled Schalke to draw even at the top with a win over Wolfswagen, but Stuttgart took the proverbial dump losing in Hamburg. Despite recent news that goofball keeper Timo Hildebrand has changed his mind and wants to stay, Matthias Sammer's boys are in danger of dropping out of the race. Instead, defending champ Werder Bremen has quietly moved back into contention, only 4 pts out. With wins over Bochum and Rostock respectively, Dortmund and Kaiserslautern have ended any relegation fears. The bottom 3 look hopeless, although with Mainz continuing to suck, it's possible that somebody could still save themselves.

 1 FC Bayern 	21 12 5  4 39:23 16  41 
 2 Schalke 04 	21 13 2  6 33:26  7  41 	Hertha - Nuernberg 	2:1
 3 W. Bremen 	21 11 4  6 45:25 20  37 	HSV - Stuttgart 	2:1
 4 Hertha BSC 	21  9 9  3 35:18 17  36 	Kaisersl. - Rostock	2:1
 5 Stuttgart 	21 10 5  6 39:28 11  35 	Schalke - Wolfsburg	3:0
 6 Leverkusen 	21 10 5  6 37:27 10  35 	Bremen - Gladbach 	2:0
 7 Hamburger SV 21 11 1  9 37:31  6  34 	Freiburg - Hannover	0:0
 8 Hannover 	21  9 5  7 26:22  4  32 	Dortmund - Bochum	1:0
 9 Kaisersl. 	21  9 4  8 30:29  1  31 	Bielefeld - Bayern	3:1
10 Wolfsburg 	21 10 0 11 35:35  0  30 	Leverkusen - Mainz	2:0
11 Dortmund 	21  7 7  7 24:25 -1  28 
12 Bielefeld 	21  8 4  9 23:27 -4  28 
13 Nürnberg 	21  6 6  9 35:36 -1  24 
14 Mönchengl. 	21  6 6  9 25:35 -10 24 
15 Mainz 05 	21  6 4 11 27:37 -10 22 
16 VfL Bochum 	21  3 7 11 26:43 -17 16 
17 Freiburg 	21  3 7 11 17:41 -24 16 
18 Rostock 	21  2 7 12 18:43 -25 13 

In the 2.Liga, Duisburg, Köln and Greuther Fürth remain in charge, but the relegation battle has really heated up, with only 6 points seperating 10th place from 18th.

Referee scandal continues with payoff

One might actually begin to think that HSV actually hired the Croatian mafia to bribe Ref Hoyzer to fix the Paderborn cup match! The DFB has "assumed responsibility" for the ref's actions, and as compensation will pay some 2 million euros to HSV, in return for which Hamburg will drop the protest against the result. The details entail a 500,000 euro direct payment, and a guarantee of 1.5 million euros as a cut of an international friendly to be played in Hamburg against somebody like China or Japan. Obviously this is a good deal for HSV, since in the next DFB-Cup round they probably would have ended up facing somebody like Wacker Burghausen, drawing 2,000 fans and then losing anyway. Given this lucrative payout, many other clubs are said to be negotiating with representatives from the Croatian mafia for future potential match fixing. Regionalliga and lower division clubs are advised to seek the services of the Albanian or Moldavian mafia, since they offer lower prices for match fixing, or the Belorussia mafia, which is said to be offering package deals of cup and league fixes with 5% rebates for cash payments or extra frequent flyer miles on VISA card purchases.

Meanwhile, not wishing to be left out, SpVgg Unterhaching is protesting their 1-3 defeat against 1.FC Saarbrücken. Ref Hoyzer was trying to throw the game in FAVOR of the Hachingers, but despite his best efforts, nada. He even got an SMS-text message from his mafia buddies that raised the "victory bonus" from 35,000 to 50,000 euros. He finally managed to award a "penalty" to Haching, but the doofuses missed the shot and went on to lose anyway. Now the Haching club have the "Frechheit" to insult everybodies intelligence and protest against the game. The reason is that by awarding them the penalty, Hoyzer disrupted Hachings flow of play, and by missing the shot, they got all depressed, thereby preventing them from victory!!! These idiots need to be strung up from the nearest lampost!! I would think that even Haching fans (if there are any) would themselves be so insulted that they would storm the barricades and lynch their club management.

Finally news from Italy is that the locals are upset that the Germans have stolen some of their thunder. Match-fixing is a time honored tradition in Italy, so there is understandable outrage over the upstart Croatians, who only can offer cheap knockoffs of the genuine mafia. So to support the local industry reputation, the Italian FA is announcing that they are investigating some 5 matches from the 2000/2001 season...

St.Pauli in trouble again

Guess it's time for another "Saufen Für St.Pauli" ("Glugging for St.Pauli") campaign to raise money. Apparently the club owes something like 1 million euros in back taxes. Could any club be more incompetantly run? I used to think Wuppertaler SV took the cake, but Pauli has obviously set new standard for incompetance, which makes them almost equal to Borussia Dortmund...

Good effort by Klinsi's squad

Germany gave a strong effort last Wednesday against powerful Argentina, but once again, were unable to win, drawing 2-2 in an entertaining match. The Germans controlled the match for long periods against the world's top ranked team. Torsten Frings had an outstaning game in midfield, taking over from Michael Ballack, and Kevin Kuranyi was especially dangerous in attack. For the Argies, Hernan Crespo was outstanding, scoring both goals, although the first came on a ridiculous penalty. Javier Saviola was also danagerous with the as usual slow lumbering German fullbacks.

Bundesliga 20th Round roundup

Bayern was once again the big winner, as they dusted off Alka-Seltzer 2-0. Schalke once again crapped in their pants, and only an injury time Ailton goal saved them from the utter disgrace of being the first team to lose in Rostock. Stuttgart also had a lame 1-1 draw to K-lautern, so Bayern's lead is now 3 full points. Good away results for Bremen (3-2 at Volkswagen) and Hertha (3-0 at Mainz) to take over 4th and 5th. At the bottom, Hansa continues to prop up the league, with Freiburg also likely hopeless. Bochum is 6 points down, but since Mainz is in freefall, they might still have a chance.

Cheating ref update

So far all the other refs have denied any wrongdoing, so Robert Hoyzer still stands alone. He will perhaps have a lasting social impact, as a new verb has been added to the German language, "hoyzern" as in "Dann hat der Schiri gehoyzert". Already crowds at soccer matches are enthusiastically implementing this new linguistic nuance, as whenever a ref blows a call, they chant "hoyzer! hoyzer!"

In another interesting development, the police raided Alemannia Aachen player Laurentiu Reghecampf's hotel room at 6:00am, as he was accused of having fixed a Chemnitz match in 2004. The minor problem was of course that the Romanian never played for Chemnitz (at the time he was with Cottbus). The public prosecutor then stated that it was just a typo, and Reghecampf was still a suspect, probably because he's one of those swarthy east european types, like those croatian mafiosos.

First national squad test

Germany will face a stern test on upcoming Wednesday, Feb 9th as they face Argentina. In general, Jürgen Klinsmann will have his strongest squad available. Jens Lehmann is back in the picture as he may have won back his starting job at Arse, after a strong performance in the EPL match Saturday at Aston Villa. His replacement, Spaniard Manuel Almunia had been so horrible that even Arse Wenger couldn't stand it any more. And his rival Olli Kahn has actually been playing quite well since the Bundesliga restart. This match will be yet another attempt by Germany to defeat a first rate team, something they haven't done in eons. However, it is unclear what type of team the Argies are going to send.

Bundesliga humdrum

Bayern chasers Schalke and Stuttgart laid the proverbial eggs as they bent over and took it up the rear. Schalke lost 0-2 at in form Kaiserlautern, and Stuttgart disgraced themselves losing 2-4 at home to Nürnberg. Perhaps the Croatian mafia were involved in this one too, as Schalke's Krstajic gave up an unneeded penalty to sink the Blues. But also Ailton needs join Weight Watchers, and then he wouldn't miss as many sitters. Maybe Uwe Seeler could get away with chunkiness, but Ailton evidently can't. On Sunday, Bayern managed a ho-hum 0-0 at Hertha that helped some 75,000 who might have previously suffered from sleep deprivation. So the Bayern Inc. take a 1 point lead at the top. Alka-Seltzer Leverkusen was the big winner this week, a 4-0 thrashing of hapless Bochum moving them into 4th.

The 2.Liga had a merry result, as leader 1.FC Köln whacked W(h)acker Burghausen 8-1. Greuther Fürth and MSV Duisburg also won, and have solid hold on remaining promotion spots.

Stuttgart Blues

It's been a bad week for Stuttgart, not only did they get whipped by Nürnberg, but their keeper Timo Hildebrand announced that he will leave the club. Apparently he thinks he's hot stuff, and is rumoured to be an Arsenal target. You would think that Arse had enough of lousy German keepers, but that's the rumour. If so, he would become the next in a long line of keepers to suck in the EPL. Matthias Sammer should slap him on the side of his head. It would do any good, but it might make Sammer feel better.

Referee scandal worsens

The referee fixing scandal around Robert Hoyzer got worse. First he admitted that he accepted some 70,000 euros from the Croatian mafia to fix games. Two dubious characters were arrested by the police, and they further implicated some players from Hertha BSC. Apparently they ran some Croatian cofeehouse in Berlin that was used to funnel bribe money. Hertha director Dieter Hoeness denied that the players (Madlung, Simunic, Rafael) were involved. Perhaps they only frequented said cafe because the local Starbucks served lattes made from coffee squeezed from the fingers of oppressed Guatemalan peasants, and the Hertha players had an innate sense of justice and solidarity. (Actually, Nando Rafael even denied even knowing where the cafe is, which is believable, since watching him play, he doesn't seem to know where he is...) Besides, just because the players suck, that is no proof of bribery.

Meanwhile, HSV has launched an official protest against the 2-4 Cup loss to Paderborn. In light of the revelations, it's pretty likely that a replay will be ordered. However in a shocking development, "Sport-Bild" just broke the story that Paderborn has admitted that they accepted bribes from the Croatian mafia to defeat HSV. Even when it was pointed out that bribes are only given to lose, the Paderborn club stuck by it's story.

Bundesliga restarts - no surprises

No great surprises as the Bundesliga kicked off again after the winterbreak. Bayern bitch-slapped Hamburg 3-0 and Schalke upended Bremen 2-1 in a boring match that was decided by a suspiciously offside Ailton goal. Dortmund's 2-1 win a Wolfsburg was important for the struggling Neons.

Now a referee scandal

The DFB has launched an emergency investigation into referee Robert Hoyzer. Hoyzer had resigned under suspicion that he had bet on matches and influenced the results. In particular, he is accused of throwing the Hamburg-Paderborn cup match, where he kicked Mpenza out and awarded two penalties to Paderborn in the big upset. Reaction was swift from ex-HSV coach Klaus Toppmöller: "The ref cost me my job!", although the evidence seems to point to his crappy coaching instead. Hoyzer had not refereed any Bundesliga matches, although he had done many 2.Liga and Regionalliga games.

"Amateur" rules changed

Starting next season, the DFB has changed the rules regarding the so-called "amateur" squads of the Bundesliga clubs that are polluting the lower divisions. These essentially reserve squads of full professionals have ruined much of the competition in the Regionalliga and Oberliga, and of course reduced fan attendance. Henceforth, only 3 players over the age of 24 can be on the pitch. Non-"amateur" squads have a different set of rules: they are required to have at least 4 under 23 players in the match squad, although they need not play.

Germans no longer rate?

Kicker Sportmagazin has released their binannual ranking of players in the Bundesliga. I think it's fair to say that they are reasonable in judging, not awarding "world class" willy-nilly. Their rating system is based on grades received in the magazine for matches, and other subjective factors, coming up not only rankings, but also "class":

World Class, International Class, In general class, In "view",

This is basically simliar to Abseits AAA-AA-A-B-C ranking. (Actually, I would leave out the AAA, and make "World Class" = "AA", otherwise there is too much inflation by kicker.) However, unlike Abseits, the kicker rankings are based only on performance over the past halfseason rather than career. 2-Liga is rated differently.

Goalkeepers:

Schalke's Frank Rost was top ranked, considered international. It would be hard to consider him anything than a Class "B" in his career though. Olli Kahn gives an indication of how crap he's become, not even ranked in the top 12 and has no class - but you already knew that! Still, large drop for a likely class "AA" career player.

Inside defenders:

Schalke's Marcelo Bordon was tops, and along with Leverkusen's Juan, rated "international". Again, overrated, although Bordon seems to at least be on the fringe. Top German was Hannover's young Per Mertesacker (4th, "Other class").

Defensive outside:

Bascially crap, Bernd Schneider was tops, only "other class". This is pretty accurate.

Offensive outside:

Bielefeld's Delron Buckely top ranked, and along with Leverkusen's Jacek Krzynowek rated "international". Again, inflation.

Defensive midfielder:

Michael Ballack was the leader, ranked "international". OK, aside from the fact that Ballack is having a poor season by his standards, how is he defensive? Hmm. I guess you could say he helps the other team's defense when he misses the open net. When he sucks, Bayern/Germany sucks. He leads the attack, scores goals. But supposedly he "thinks" like a defender. OK. kinda like George Dubya launched a defensive war against Eye-rak.

Offensive midfielder:

Surprise, I though they might put someone like Franz Beckenbauer, since he "thinks" like an attacker. But at least the choices were good, Hertha's Marcelinho, currently the Bundesliga's dominant player and Nürnberg's Marek Mintal. It's a stretch to include Schalke's Lincoln and Werder's John Micoud in "international", as only Marcelinho really deserves it. But since that one guy freed the slaves, I guess they're giving him his due.

Attackers:

Surprising is also that Kicker found 7 "international class" forwards, led by Werder's Miroslav Klose. He's been decent, but is a nobody on the international stage, and disappears half the time. Stuttgart's Kevin Kuranyi has shown flashes of brilliance, but has been long injured. Bayern's Roy Makaay is also class, but in a slump.

"Legionaires:"

This is for ex-Waffen-SS in the French Foreign Legion and German's playing abroad. For some reason, they give Stefan Klos an "international" ranking, apparently because when Glasgow Rangers goal is assaulted by wave-after-wave of non-stop attack from Inverness Caledonian Thistle, he's up to the task.

In conclusion, you'd have to say that kicker was a bit generous on the "international class" (Class A) ratings, at least of the secondary players, but there are few ridiculous overratings, aside from goalkeepers.

The Frenchie is back!

The "no speak Deutsch" Frenchman, Bixente Lizarazu, has returned to Bayern München like a dog with his tail between his legs. The outstanding left fullback had left over the summer for Olympique Marseille, but apparently the Jean-Claude Izzo town was not to the Basque international's liking. So he's back in lederhosen to wind up his fine career. He retired from the French national squad after Euro 2004 with 97 caps.

Money talks, bullshit walks!

Faster than you can say "FANZ RAUS!!" the directorship of Karlsruher SC fired new manager Reinhold Fanz - whom they had just hired 7 days ago. As previously reported, the main sponsor EnBW thought the appointment sucked and threatened to take their toys, or at least money, and go home. So in a demonstration of firm backbone clearly designed to show that KSC is nobody's bitch, the board deliberately feverishly before firing his ass. Undoubtedly EnBW stated that "they in no way influenced the decision, but we respect the independent action of the KSC board." Meanwhile, George Dubya was apparently so impressed by the determination of the board is that he wants them to become interim goverment for Iraq.

Sponsor: The new coach sucks!

2.Liga club Karlsruhe has had a rough season, 17th and in the relegation zone. So the board did the usual and fired the coach, Lorenz-Günther Köstner. Then they announced his successor, an ex-KSC player, Reinhold Fanz (1980-86 a bit player in the Bundesliga). The surprise came with the reaction from the main sponsor, EnBW (Energie Baden-Württemberg): "Fanz Sucks! In fact, he sucks so much that we have to reconsider supporting KSC!!" They apparently believe that Fanz is incompetant, and by choosing him, the board demonstrated that they have no clue on how to make the club better. EnBW had in mind somebody like Winfried Schäfer, the ex-KSC legend, who recently got canned as the Cameroon national coach (although why the players lazy-ass performance was his fault has yet to be explained). Also acceptable would have been ex-playing hero Thomas Hässler. The KSC directors said these guys weren't even in the picture. So the sponsor has made noises about withdrawing financial support, which of course would be a major disaster. Meanwhile, it's been noticed that EnBW chairman Utz Claazen was once president of Hannover 96 and he fired a coach then...Reinhold Fanz.

Ailton ties the knot

Schalke forward Ailton finally married his Mexican girlfriend Rosalie, mother of his two daughters. The ceremony was in his home town Mogeiro in Brazil. He then celebrated by participating in a Brazilian rodeo and breaking his finger. (Hopefully not the middle one, since he uses it a lot). Schalke apparently neglected to have a non-rodeo clause in the contract, so Mgr. Rudi Assauer probably feels like he's got a kidney stone. Having seen Brazilian rodeo first-hand, Abseits can report that a main feature of every one is some yokel getting trampled by horses, bulls, 4-wheel-drives or some combination thereof.

Easy win wraps up year

The national squad had an easy time in the final match of the Asian tour, as they thumped Thailand 5-1 in Bangkok.

First loss for Klinsmann

The national squad suffered it's first defeat of the Jürgen Klinsmann era in a somewhat unlucky 1-3 defeat against South Korea. Michael Ballack missed a late penalty that would have knotted the score at 2-2, and Korea scored again in injury time to put the game on ice. Not the worst performance, but the German squad was counter-attacked by the quicker Koreans. Ballack did score off a nice free kick, but the match does show that Germany has a fair amount of work to do before 2006.

Germany thumps Japan

The national squad, playing in their ridiculous red-white uniforms, had an easy time with hosts Japan, winning 3-0. After a rather lame first half, they got down to business and finished off the Japanese with goals by Klose, Ballack and again Klose in injury time. Olli Kahn apparently insulted the hosts, as he refused to display one of his patented howlers and allow the Japanese an easy goal. Outraged Japanese mobs threatened to not bow to their visitors and the Ministry of Industry and Trade announced sanctions against the import of German rice to appease farmers. The German Foreign Office is doing damage control by offering to support Japanese membership in the EU.

European draws tough nuts

The German clubs were all handled relatively tough assignments in the draws today for the Champions League and UEFA Cup knockout stages. With luck, all could advance, but by the same token, they could all end up in the dust-bin.

In the Champions League:
Bayern München has an attractive clash with English champs Arsenal. Despite Bayern's dour anti-football and Arse's free flowing attack, the Gunners usually choke in Europe, so probably Bayern has a slight edge. If Arse boss Arsene Wenger gets over his temporary hemerrhoidal attack and puts Jens Lehmann back in goal, we could be treated to the Lehmann vs. Olli Kahn show, which should mean lots of cheap goals, not to mention lots of howling in the German press
German champ Werder Bremen meets it's French counterpart Olympique Lyon. Based on form, you'd have to give the Frenchies an edge, although Werder is a tough nut themselves. Finally, in a match certain to boost Alka-Seltzer sales, two underachievers, Bayer Leverkusen and FC Liverpool clash. Both teams are notoriously inconsistent, but you have to give the English the advantage, based on traditional poor German club record against English squads.

In the UEFA Cup:
VfB Stuttgart should be able to prevail against struggling AS Parma. The Italians have a chance if they cheat (Italian clubs cheat? What a concept!) and then catenaccio, but that's about it. Schalke plays Ukraine's Shaktor Donezkh, which should be a tough match against an ambitious and well-funded club. Finally, 2.Liga's Alemannia Aachen have a short trip against Holland's in form AZ Alkmaar. Still, given the lower quality of Dutch leagues, the Kartoffelkäfer have an outside shot at advancing.

Bundesliga winterbreak to Bayern

Attendance is matching last year's pace, over 37,000 per match.

European competition has been successful so far, as Bremen, Bayern and Leverkusen all advance into the knockout stages. In the UEFA Cup, Schalke and Stuttgart are likely to advance, although Aachen most likely will fail.

2.Liga winterbreak has stripes

Attendance has been positive, with almost 13,000 per match a 2.Liga high mark. Köln is largely responsible, as they have averaged some 36,000, keeping their fanbase from the Bundesliga intact.

Aachen advances in UEFA Cup

2.Liga club Alemannia Aachen sensationally advances to the next round by a 2-0 away win against AEK Athens. So for the first time in ages, all German clubs have advanced. Aachen may have only qualfied based on losing the DFB-Cup final to Werder, but they've given a good account of themselves against the likes of Lille (1-0 win), Sevilla (0-2 loss), Zenit St.Petersburg (2-2). The only negative is that the Aacheners have had to play in hated Köln, since their Tivoli stadium doesn't meet UEFA standards.

Potential Bundesliga Skandal, Part Deux?

Ugly rumours have surfaced from the recent 2.Liga match, Erzgebirge Aue vs. Rot-Weiss Oberhausen. Aue won the match 2-0, but bookies had noticed some very suspicious movements in betting. Apparently so much money was being placed on a two goal Aue victory, that bookies across Germany and Austria pulled the game from the list. Suspicion is centering on RWO players Anthony Tieku and Izepon, whose actions led to RWO defeat. Tieku headed the ball into his own net, and Izepon gave up a penalty foul. Both clubs have vigourously denied any wrongdoing. It seems a bit much to accuse the players just because they're crap, however the DFB has launched an investigation. If the rumours are found to be true, then a likely punishment is that Oberhausen will be expelled from German soccer and sent down to Italy...

German Far East Tour is underway

Jürgen Klinsmann's national squad is now off to the Far East, where they will play matches against Japan, South Korea and Thailand. Part of the motivation is that the DFB is thanking the east Asian federations for their support of Germany over South Africa for awarding the 2006 World Cup. In addition, the national squad will further thank Japan for their enthusiastic support at the last World Cup 2002. This special Dankeschön will be in the form of having Oliver Kahn perform another one of his usual crapolas and gifting the Japanese a goal. The squad includes some veterans, but also several new players, getting their first look-see: Patrick Owomoyela (Bielefeld) and Christian Schulz (Bremen) are expected to start against Japan, plus Simon Jentzsch (Wolfsburg) and Marco Englehardt (Kaiserslautern).