BUNDESLIGA, Round 2

Bayern München apparently has decided that their is something to Pep Guardiola’s tiki-taka boredom. Not so much the useless passing around, but that you can put everybody to sleep, then strike, and then waste around and get the win. That’s pretty much what the champions did at Frankfurt, which is usually a hard place to play. But Bayern was cruising without having to bring a sweat as they easily got the win against Eintracht, who never looked like scoring.

Biatch-Slap! The Volkswagens are apparently no longer being built in Kraftdurchfreudestadt, apparently production is now dependent on Sao Paulo. The Wolfies just signed Luiz Gustavo from Bayern, and he went straight into the lineup, which featured four Portuguese speakers (and another on the bench). At the receiving end of the new model VW was Schalke, who were pitiful and were justifiably biatch-slapped. Huntelaar went out at halftime with an injury, and soon the Blues fell apart and got their asses ripped.

Talk about a biatch and a new model. New look Hoffenheim ran rampant in Hamburg in front of a stunned crowd of Hamburgers who barely had time to finish their pre-game frankfurters… This is not the old Hoffenheim, who spent money to get established and then dicked around and almost got relegated. A new look squad of young cheap talent has been slapped together by coach Markus Gisdol into a respectable team that tries hard. They kicked Hamburg in the balls, whose defense was running around like chickens with their heads cut off. The HSV fans must be outraged over his performance.

Hard fought match in Stuttgart, but Leverkusen was a bit more fortunate. It was Stuttgart that did itself in. First they gave up the own goal. Then of course they ran into ex-VfBer Jay Leno. (OK, “Bernd”). The Aspirin GK was very sharp and kept the hosts at bay, allowing a discplined Alka-Seltzer squad to bring home the bacon.

Weird match in Bremen. Visitors Augsburg dominated the match and only top GK kept Werder out of trouble, However just the fact that a no talent side like FCA could thoroughly dominate Bremen (on the road no less) gives moment for pause. On the other hand, Werder is grinding some points, so that should keep them out of trouble in this re-building year. For the Fuggers, too bad, but that’s what lack of talent gets you. They continue to fight till they drop, but the talent gets you those goals.

Good season(s), then sell your players. Try and re-produce with even cheaper players. That’s Freiburg’s recipe, but it might be stale again. SCF and Mainz (which has a similar philosophy) kicked around in a sleeper, then it suddenly got exciting with a flurry of goals. Then the clock ran out as Frieburg had no clue on how to further break down their visitors.

Easy win for Gladbach, slapping Hannover, who basically didn’t want to be there. Perhaps the players can get prosecuted for Arbeitsverweigerung (“refusal to work”), or the 96ers were on strike that nobody knew about. In any case, Gladbach did whatever they wanted – which wasn’t very much – and probably got the easiest win they’ll have this season.

Sunday matches:
Dortmund hosted Braunschweig and struggled. The guests hunkered down and defended resolutely, and the Neons were beginning to get desperate, as they were banging their heads against Braunschweig’s well organized squad. They finally broke through as sub youngster Jonas Hofmann got things going. A good effort by Braunschweig, but there seems to be a bit of Greuther Fürth here, fight hard but not have enough to get the reward.

Nürnberg hosted Hertha in a tight match, both sides could complain about some wankerized referee decisions, but overall the draw was a fair result. Hertha showed that last week’s romp was no fluke and they look to have what it takes to stay up.

Total attendance this weekend was 343,257 (avg 38,140). One sellout, in Frankfurt

 	
VfB Stuttgart	       -   Bayer 04 Leverkusen	 0:1 (0:1)   40,800

                      0:1  Schwaab (42., own goal, Boenisch)

VfL Wolfsburg	       -   FC Schalke 04	 4:0 (0:0)   28,405

                      1:0  Knoche (55., Perisic)
                      2:0  Vieirinha (61.)
                      3:0  Naldo (67.)
                      4:0  Kutschke (90. + 1, M. Schäfer)

Werder Bremen	       -   FC Augsburg	         1:0 (1:0)   40,112

                      1:0  Ekici (23.)

SC Freiburg	       -   1. FSV Mainz 05	 1:2 (0:0)   23,100

                      0:1  Zimling (64., Geis)
                      0:2  N. Müller (68., Zimling)
                      1:2  Freis (71., Fernandes)

Hamburger SV	       -   1899 Hoffenheim	 1:5 (1:1)   47,483

                      0:1  Roberto Firmino (5., F. Johnson)
                      1:1  van der Vaart (44., Hand penalty)
                      1:2  Volland (51., Roberto Firmino)
                      1:3  Modeste (67., Roberto Firmino)
                      1:4  Modeste (75., Roberto Firmino)
                      1:5  Roberto Firmino (78., Volland)

Eintracht Frankfurt    -   Bayern München	 0:1 (0:1)   51,500 *

                      0:1  Mandzukic (13., T. Müller)

Bor. Mönchengladbach   -   Hannover 96	         3:0 (1:0)   46,089

                      1:0  M. Kruse (20., Raffael)
                      2:0  Kramer (53., M. Kruse)
                      3:0  Daems (66., Hand penalty)


1. FC Nürnberg	       -   Hertha BSC 	         2:2 (1:0)   37,068

                      1:0  Drmic (40., Ginczek)
                      1:1  Allagui (61., Pekarik)
                      1:2  Ronny (79., penalty, Baumjohann)
                      2:2  Kiyotake (89., direct freekick)
 
Borussia Dortmund      -   Eintr. Braunschweig   2:1 (0:0)   80,200

                      1:0  Hofmann (75., Hummels)
                      2:0  Reus (86., penalty, Hofmann)
                      2:1  Kratz (89., Boland)




 1  Borussia Dortmund	  	2 	  2  0 	0    6:1  +5 	  6 
 2  Bayer 04 Leverkusen	    	2 	  2  0 	0    4:1  +3 	  6 
 3  Bayern München (M, P)	2 	  2  0 	0    4:1  +3 	  6 
 4  1. FSV Mainz 05	  	2 	  2  0 	0    5:3  +2 	  6
-------------------------------------------------------------------
 5  Werder Bremen	  	2 	  2  0 	0    2:0  +2 	  6
 6  1899 Hoffenheim	  	2 	  1  1 	0    7:3  +4 	  4 
-------------------------------------------------------------------
 7  Hertha BSC Berlin (N)	2 	  1  1 	0    8:3  +5 	  4
 8  VfL Wolfsburg	  	2 	  1  0 	1    4:2  +2 	  3 
 9  Bor. Mönchengladbach	2 	  1  0 	1    4:3  +1 	  3 
10  Hannover 96	  	        2 	  1  0 	1    2:3  -1 	  3 
11  1. FC Nürnberg	  	2 	  0  2 	0    4:4   0 	  2 
12  Hamburger SV	  	2 	  0  1 	1    4:8  -4 	  1 
13  FC Schalke 04	        2 	  0  1 	1    3:7  -4 	  1 
14  VfB Stuttgart	        2 	  0  0 	2    2:4  -2 	  0
15  Eintracht Braunschweig (N)	2 	  0  0 	2    1:3  -2 	  0 
-------------------------------------------------------------------
16  SC Freiburg	                2 	  0  0 	2    2:5  -3 	  0
-------------------------------------------------------------------
17  FC Augsburg	                2 	  0  0 	2    0:5  -5 	  0 
18  Eintracht Frankfurt	        2 	  0  0 	2    1:7  -6 	  0


M = Meister, defending Champion
P = Pokal, defending Cup winner
N = Neuling, newly promoted

1st line: Champions League
2nd line: Europaliga (+ Cup winner)
3rd line: Playoff with 2.Liga 3rd place
4th line: Relegation to 2.Liga

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